Difference between revisions of "Come to the Wired"

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Written by Amysteriousgal
+
{{VNProject}}
  
Last updated 2012-12-14
+
= Second Draft (ain) =
 +
===Scene 0.===
 +
''Black screen. Words, center, type in''
  
 +
'''「死ぬ時?」'''
 +
'''“What was it like when you died?”'''
  
 +
''Fade out.''
  
''Suggested background: Blurry anime screencaps, possibly in black and white/sepia? There's no need for any people to appear in this one. It should be more effective if we don't include other people beyond some chattering in the background noise.''
+
===Scene One, Classroom, Day.===
 +
''Ambient hushed whispers. Image, sheet of paper with class play, in moonspeak. [Can be legitimate, like Love-Suicide at Amajima, or we could just stick text from scenario experiments lain in].''
  
 +
I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to do anything right.
  
 +
It was only a minor role in a class play. I had one line. Just one.
  
Chisa: 'I'm sorry... I'm sorry...'
+
But I couldn’t say it. My time came to say my line, but I couldn’t make a sound.  
  
I don't know why, but I can never do anything right.
+
Everyone was staring at me. Waiting for me. The play couldn’t go on until I gave the main character his cue.
  
It was only a minor role in our class play. I only had one line. Just one.
+
I started shaking. My heart raced.
  
...But I couldn't say it. It got to my turn and... I couldn't say anything! At all!
+
I wanted to cry.
 +
 
 +
Why did this have to happen to me, at such a crucial moment? I just needed to say this simple line. They needed me to—
 +
 
 +
The next line came without me saying anything. They moved on somehow. The play continued without me.
 +
 
 +
They all left me behind.
 +
 
 +
''Black''
 +
 
 +
'''At that moment, I understood.'''
 +
 
 +
''Montage of scenery of Chisa highlighted alone in various scenes of her being isolated, being bullied, perhaps, sitting by herself at Cyberia, walking home alone, perhaps entering an empty house, loop until ending of text in bold below.''
 +
 
 +
'''It’s always been like this.'''
 +
 
 +
'''They don’t need me.'''
 +
 
 +
'''The world doesn’t need me.'''
 +
 
 +
''Fade to black, while still looping. After black, stop looping.''
 +
 
 +
'''Chisa:''' “I’m sorry…”
 +
 
 +
===Scene Two, Bedroom, Night.===
 +
''Image, Chibi-Navi login screen. Ambient noise from computer fans.''
 +
(「だれ?」
 +
“Who are you?”
 +
四方田千砂
 +
chisa yomoda)
 +
 
 +
I have another life. On the Wired.
 +
 
 +
I can talk to people there. It’s easy, hiding behind a screen. I don’t get nervous. I can find people who are like me, and even make friends with them.  
 +
 
 +
On the Wired, nobody knows who I am. I don’t need to stay silent, afraid of saying something wrong. There are no consequences to my mistakes. Nobody hates me there.
  
Everyone was staring at me. Everyone was waiting for me. The main character couldn't do anything until I gave him his cue.
+
''Image, screen, perhaps some BBS or Futaba-based imageboard.''
 +
(名無しさん No. 78
 +
Anonymous
 +
>>73
 +
すごい!乙!!
 +
You’re so cool! Thanks!!
 +
名無しさん No.79
 +
Anonymous
 +
>>73
 +
神!大きにありがとう!
 +
You’re amazing! Thanks so much!
 +
ヨモ田さん No.80
 +
Yomoda-san
 +
>>78
 +
>>79
 +
どういたしまして。喜んで手伝った。^_^
 +
It’s nothing. I’m glad I could help. )
  
I started shaking.
+
I was useful there.  
  
I wanted to cry.
+
''Image, screen, imageboard''
 +
(ヨモ田さん No. 32
 +
Yomoda-san
 +
誰もあたしのことわからない。クラスにいる少女たちにクラッブへ連れて来られたけど、あたし、踊れらないから取り残された。
 +
あたしの存在は惨めね。
 +
Nobody understands me. I was taken to a club by some girls in my class, but I can’t dance, so they left me behind.
 +
My existence is wretched, isn’t it?
 +
名無しさん No. 33
 +
Anonymous
 +
>>32
 +
ひどい!かまわない、ヨモ田さん!そう言った人々は友達じゃないよー
 +
How mean!  Don’t worry about it, Yomoda-san! People like that aren’t friends!
 +
名無しさん No. 34
 +
Anonymous
 +
>>32
 +
ワイヤードに来ればいいの。私たちはヨモ田さんがわかる!
 +
You should come to the Wired. We understand you, Yomoda-san!
 +
ヨモ田さん  No. 35
 +
Yomoda-san
 +
>>33
 +
>>34
 +
そう?聞いてくれて本当にありがとう。
 +
Is that so? I really appreciate you listening to me.)
 +
 
 +
They care about me there.
 +
 
 +
They want me there.
 +
 
 +
I can be myself in front of them, and I don’t need to worry about them hating me at all. I can speak my mind without freezing up or wanting to cry.
 +
 
 +
I belong there.
 +
 
 +
===Scene Three, Streets, Late Afternoon.===
 +
''Image, streets, include bloody shadows. Ambient waan waan waan 50MHz hum.''
 +
 
 +
There’s a girl from another class.
 +
 
 +
Lain Iwakura.
 +
 
 +
She never talks to anyone. That means she’s quiet, like me. I think she might be lonely, too.
 +
 
 +
Like me.
  
I was so confused.
+
I walked home with her today. We never said a word to each other, but I felt somehow connected to her.  
  
Why was this happening?
+
Even though she and I never spoke, I felt comforted. It was a familiar feeling that I couldn’t place at first, but then I realized—
  
I think they moved on somehow. The play continued. They all left me behind.
+
For some reason, being with lain felt just like being on the Wired.
  
...And then, suddenly, I understood it.
+
''Image, lain profile view from her left, expression rather blank and forlorn.''
  
They didn't need me.
+
I feel like she belongs there too, just like me. I don’t know how, but I feel like she would be happy there.
  
The world didn't need me.
+
I want to be her friend. But I can’t talk to people in a place like this.
  
Everything became so clear as soon as I noticed.
+
If only she was on the Wired, we could be happy together. We could connect, and we wouldn’t have to hide or walk home in silence.
  
Chisa: 'I...'
+
…But I’ve never seen her use a NAVI before.
  
Chisa: '...don't need to be here.'
+
I wanted to tell her, ‘Come to the Wired as soon as you can,’ but I didn’t say anything.
  
 +
I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to do anything right.
  
 +
===Scene Four, Bedroom, Night.===
 +
''Image,  screen, closeup of some words on the screen. Ambient computer noises.''
 +
(ここに神様がいるよー)
  
I always had another life, on the Wired.
+
Today, I heard something interesting on the Wired.
  
There, I could connect to people. It's not like the real world, where I mess up such stupid things as one line in a play.
+
'''God is here.'''
  
Writing is so much easier than speaking. It doesn't make me freeze in place and shiver and want to cry.
+
The Knights say that God lives in the Wired. He is omnipresent, just like the Wired. He sees everything and knows everyone. He connects all of us by being connected to all of us Himself.
  
On the Wired, people listen to what I say. I don't have to seal my voice away, like I do in the real world, scared of saying something wrong and being hated.
+
He loves all of us.
  
Stranger: 'You're amazing! Thank you so much!'
+
…I wonder…
  
Chisa: 'It's nothing, I'm glad I was able to help.'
+
If he truly can love someone like me.
  
That's why I always wanted to live on the Wired.
+
Someone who is useless and awkward and unable to talk to anyone.
  
Maybe someday, I'll be able to.
+
''Image, screen, some sort of group chat client. IRC or similar chat client.''
 +
([02:04:01] バイトル:ワイヤードへ来さえすれば神様があなたを愛する。
 +
[02:04:44] ヨモダ:それじゃ、永遠にここにいたい。)
  
 +
'''Knight:''' He will love you as long as you come to the Wired.
 +
'''Chisa:''' I want to be here forever, then.
  
 +
''Image, screen, details on the Psyche processor, maybe a close up of part of ab# layer 03''
  
There's this girl in another class called Iwakura Lain.
+
They told me about the Psyche processor.
  
She's quiet, like me. I think she's lonely, too.
+
They said it would let me enter the Wired without needing a NAVI.
  
Today, I walked home together with her.
+
…They told me about abandoning the flesh.
  
We didn't really talk about anything, but it was nice being beside her.
+
''Image, screen, chat client again.''
 +
([04:23:43] ヨモダ:本当にただ一つ方法?怖そう・・・
 +
[04:25:01] 大正電氣娘:うん。他の方法無い。何しろ、リアル・ワルドにあなたは必要ないって言ってたね。
 +
[04:31:23] ヨモダ:そう・・・必要ない。)
  
She felt familiar. Maybe it's because I saw myself in her, but it seems like something else.
+
''Chisa:'' Is that really the only way? It sounds scary…
 +
''Knight:'' Yeah. There’s no other way. You said that the real world doesn’t need you, anyway, didn’t you?
 +
''Chisa:'' Right…it doesn’t need me.
  
Oh, I get it.
+
===Scene Five, Empty Corridor, Late afternoon.===
 +
''Silence''
  
Being with her feels like being on the Wired.
+
Even knowing what I had learned last night, I went back to school as usual.  
  
I wonder why.
+
I was alone, as usual.
  
 +
Waiting.
  
 +
I didn’t talk to lain today, either. I just couldn’t. I was too afraid.
  
A few girls tried to make friends with me today.
+
I’m pathetic. Here I’m nobody at all.
  
I think they were in Lain's class.
+
But there I can be somebody. I can work to my fullest potential. I can become someone worthy of God’s Love.
  
They took me to this nightclub called 'Cyberia'. I'd never been there before, so I was a little scared.
+
I belong there, in the Wired.
  
Alice: 'Don't worry. It'll be fun!'
+
''Black, words, centered.''
 +
(「あたしは――こんなところにいなくてもいいの――」)
  
Reika: 'Are you sure? A place like Cyberia doesn't suit her at all.'
+
'''Chisa:''' “I…would be better off not being in a place like this…”
  
Alice: 'It's fine, I'm sure she'll be different once we get her to open up a little.'
+
===Scene Six, Front hall, evening===
 +
''Image, open package with a Psyche processor nearby. Should be something like an envelope.''
  
In the end, I didn't really do anything there. There were so many people and it was all noisy and crowded... I wanted to run away.
+
It arrived today. I found it on my desk when I got home.
  
How many of those people do you think were having fun?
+
There was a note.
 +
''Image, typed note.''
 +
(早くワイヤードに来てー
 +
待ってる。)
  
Those girls tried to be nice. They tried to make me dance along with them, but I didn't know how. I think they gave up quite quickly.
+
“Come to the Wired as soon as you can.
 +
“We’re waiting.
  
Are they really friends if they want me to be someone I'm not?
+
''Fade to black''
  
Stranger: 'You shouldn't make friends with people like them.'
+
===Scene 0.2===
 +
''Slowly fade in words from before.''
  
Stranger: 'You can just stay on the Wired. You can be yourself here.'
+
'''「死ぬ時?」'''
 +
'''“What was it like when you died?”'''
  
Chisa: 'That's right. Thank you for understanding.'
+
''Below, type in slowly.''
  
That's right. I don't belong here, in the real world.
+
'''「痛かった(笑)」'''
 +
'''“It hurt. Heehee.”'''
  
TBC
 
  
 
[[Category:VN]]
 
[[Category:VN]]

Revision as of 21:11, 3 July 2013

Come to the Wired
212px-Lain's hairclip from VEL cover.jpg
Information

Second Draft (ain)

Scene 0.

Black screen. Words, center, type in

「死ぬ時?」
“What was it like when you died?”

Fade out.

Scene One, Classroom, Day.

Ambient hushed whispers. Image, sheet of paper with class play, in moonspeak. [Can be legitimate, like Love-Suicide at Amajima, or we could just stick text from scenario experiments lain in].

I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to do anything right.

It was only a minor role in a class play. I had one line. Just one.

But I couldn’t say it. My time came to say my line, but I couldn’t make a sound.

Everyone was staring at me. Waiting for me. The play couldn’t go on until I gave the main character his cue.

I started shaking. My heart raced.

I wanted to cry.

Why did this have to happen to me, at such a crucial moment? I just needed to say this simple line. They needed me to—

The next line came without me saying anything. They moved on somehow. The play continued without me.

They all left me behind.

Black

At that moment, I understood.

Montage of scenery of Chisa highlighted alone in various scenes of her being isolated, being bullied, perhaps, sitting by herself at Cyberia, walking home alone, perhaps entering an empty house, loop until ending of text in bold below.

It’s always been like this.

They don’t need me.

The world doesn’t need me.

Fade to black, while still looping. After black, stop looping.

Chisa: “I’m sorry…”

Scene Two, Bedroom, Night.

Image, Chibi-Navi login screen. Ambient noise from computer fans.
(「だれ?」
“Who are you?”
四方田千砂
chisa yomoda)

I have another life. On the Wired.

I can talk to people there. It’s easy, hiding behind a screen. I don’t get nervous. I can find people who are like me, and even make friends with them.

On the Wired, nobody knows who I am. I don’t need to stay silent, afraid of saying something wrong. There are no consequences to my mistakes. Nobody hates me there.

Image, screen, perhaps some BBS or Futaba-based imageboard.

(名無しさん No. 78
Anonymous
>>73
すごい!乙!!
You’re so cool! Thanks!!
名無しさん No.79
Anonymous
>>73
神!大きにありがとう!
You’re amazing! Thanks so much!
ヨモ田さん No.80
Yomoda-san
>>78
>>79
どういたしまして。喜んで手伝った。^_^
It’s nothing.  I’m glad I could help. )

I was useful there.

Image, screen, imageboard

(ヨモ田さん No. 32
Yomoda-san
誰もあたしのことわからない。クラスにいる少女たちにクラッブへ連れて来られたけど、あたし、踊れらないから取り残された。
あたしの存在は惨めね。
Nobody understands me. I was taken to a club by some girls in my class, but I can’t dance, so they left me behind.
My existence is wretched, isn’t it?
名無しさん No. 33
Anonymous
>>32
ひどい!かまわない、ヨモ田さん!そう言った人々は友達じゃないよー
How mean!  Don’t worry about it, Yomoda-san! People like that aren’t friends!
名無しさん No. 34
Anonymous
>>32
ワイヤードに来ればいいの。私たちはヨモ田さんがわかる!
You should come to the Wired. We understand you, Yomoda-san!
ヨモ田さん  No. 35
Yomoda-san
>>33
>>34
そう?聞いてくれて本当にありがとう。
Is that so? I really appreciate you listening to me.)

They care about me there.

They want me there.

I can be myself in front of them, and I don’t need to worry about them hating me at all. I can speak my mind without freezing up or wanting to cry.

I belong there.

Scene Three, Streets, Late Afternoon.

Image, streets, include bloody shadows. Ambient waan waan waan 50MHz hum.

There’s a girl from another class.

Lain Iwakura.

She never talks to anyone. That means she’s quiet, like me. I think she might be lonely, too.

Like me.

I walked home with her today. We never said a word to each other, but I felt somehow connected to her.

Even though she and I never spoke, I felt comforted. It was a familiar feeling that I couldn’t place at first, but then I realized—

For some reason, being with lain felt just like being on the Wired.

Image, lain profile view from her left, expression rather blank and forlorn.

I feel like she belongs there too, just like me. I don’t know how, but I feel like she would be happy there.

I want to be her friend. But I can’t talk to people in a place like this.

If only she was on the Wired, we could be happy together. We could connect, and we wouldn’t have to hide or walk home in silence.

…But I’ve never seen her use a NAVI before.

I wanted to tell her, ‘Come to the Wired as soon as you can,’ but I didn’t say anything.

I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to do anything right.

Scene Four, Bedroom, Night.

Image, screen, closeup of some words on the screen. Ambient computer noises.

(ここに神様がいるよー)

Today, I heard something interesting on the Wired.

God is here.

The Knights say that God lives in the Wired. He is omnipresent, just like the Wired. He sees everything and knows everyone. He connects all of us by being connected to all of us Himself.

He loves all of us.

…I wonder…

If he truly can love someone like me.

Someone who is useless and awkward and unable to talk to anyone.

Image, screen, some sort of group chat client. IRC or similar chat client.

([02:04:01] バイトル:ワイヤードへ来さえすれば神様があなたを愛する。
[02:04:44] ヨモダ:それじゃ、永遠にここにいたい。)
Knight: He will love you as long as you come to the Wired.
Chisa: I want to be here forever, then.

Image, screen, details on the Psyche processor, maybe a close up of part of ab# layer 03

They told me about the Psyche processor.

They said it would let me enter the Wired without needing a NAVI.

…They told me about abandoning the flesh.

Image, screen, chat client again.

([04:23:43] ヨモダ:本当にただ一つ方法?怖そう・・・
[04:25:01] 大正電氣娘:うん。他の方法無い。何しろ、リアル・ワルドにあなたは必要ないって言ってたね。
[04:31:23] ヨモダ:そう・・・必要ない。)
Chisa: Is that really the only way? It sounds scary…
Knight: Yeah. There’s no other way. You said that the real world doesn’t need you, anyway, didn’t you?
Chisa: Right…it doesn’t need me.

Scene Five, Empty Corridor, Late afternoon.

Silence

Even knowing what I had learned last night, I went back to school as usual.

I was alone, as usual.

Waiting.

I didn’t talk to lain today, either. I just couldn’t. I was too afraid.

I’m pathetic. Here I’m nobody at all.

But there I can be somebody. I can work to my fullest potential. I can become someone worthy of God’s Love.

I belong there, in the Wired.

Black, words, centered. (「あたしは――こんなところにいなくてもいいの――」)

Chisa: “I…would be better off not being in a place like this…”

Scene Six, Front hall, evening

Image, open package with a Psyche processor nearby. Should be something like an envelope.

It arrived today. I found it on my desk when I got home.

There was a note. Image, typed note.

(早くワイヤードに来てー
待ってる。)
“Come to the Wired as soon as you can.”
“We’re waiting.”

Fade to black

Scene 0.2

Slowly fade in words from before.

「死ぬ時?」
“What was it like when you died?”

Below, type in slowly.

「痛かった(笑)」
“It hurt. Heehee.”