All I Ever Needed To Know In This Fragile Layer Of Existence We Call The Real World I Learned From Serial Experiments Lain: Difference between revisions
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Welcome to the one and only AIENTKITFLOEWCTRWILFSEL page! The only page on the net where the title is a run-on sentence! Well, that's not really true, but it's the only page whose title is a run-on sentence that doesn't suck! Although again, that might be subject for debate. Look, just start reading before I make myself look like even more of an idiot, OK? Although I really don't think I have any sort of claim to sanity after making something like this. It is a little difficult to make a list of definitive laws about a series where, in order to maintain honesty, any statement must be ended with an "I think." As in "Lain made all their memories go away... I think," or "The game the kids were all playing actually was important... I think." Still, for better or worse, here it is. | '''"All I Ever Needed To Know In This Fragile Layer of Existence We Call The Real World I Learned From Serial Experiments Lain"''' is a page from the anime fansite "The Home for Infinite Losers". The website was first archived by the Internet Archive on the 3rd of November, 2001.<ref>Internet Archive, https://web.archive.org/web/20011103093843/http://www.geocities.com/the_hfil/Features/all_lain.html</ref> | ||
The page aims to create a list of things the author feels are "definitive laws" regarding Serial Experiments Lain. The list uses a humorous tone throughout, and the author invites users to email them in order to contribute additional "laws". | |||
The full text of the page has been included below. | |||
=Original Website Content= | |||
Welcome to the one and only AIENTKITFLOEWCTRWILFSEL page! The only page on the net where the title is a run-on sentence! Well, that's not really true, but it's the only page whose title is a run-on sentence that doesn't suck! Although again, that might be subject for debate. Look, just start reading before I make myself look like even more of an idiot, OK? Although I really don't think I have any sort of claim to sanity after making something like this. It is a little difficult to make a list of definitive laws about a series where, in order to maintain honesty, any statement must be ended with an "I think." As in "Lain made all their memories go away... I think," or "The game the kids were all playing actually was important... I think." Still, for better or worse, here it is. | |||
1) Sometimes, the only thing worse than being depressed and alone is NOT being depressed and alone. | 1) Sometimes, the only thing worse than being depressed and alone is NOT being depressed and alone. | ||
2) Hip clubs can be more trouble than they're worth. | 2) [[Cyberia|Hip clubs]] can be more trouble than they're worth. | ||
3) Drugs are bad. Especially if they look like machines. | 3) Drugs are bad. Especially if they look like [[Accela|machines]]. | ||
4) Playing tag can be a REALLY bad idea. | 4) Playing tag can be a REALLY bad idea. | ||
5) Computers are cool. Big computers are cooler. Computers that fill an entire room are beyond cool. | 5) [[NAVI|Computers]] are cool. Big computers are cooler. Computers that fill an entire room are beyond cool. | ||
6) They aren't your real parents. | 6) They aren't your real [[Family|parents]]. | ||
7) She isn't your real sister (especially if she does nothing but make modem noises). | 7) She isn't your real sister (especially if she does nothing but make modem noises). | ||
8) There is only one me, and I am me. | 8) There is only one me, and [[Identity|I am me]]. | ||
9) No there isn't. | 9) No there isn't. | ||
10) The MIB do exist, and one of them is a crazy Asian guy. The other has a Lolita Complex. | 10) The [[MIB]] do exist, and one of them is a crazy Asian guy. The other has a Lolita Complex. | ||
11) God is a disgruntled computer | 11) [[God]] is a [[Masami Eiri|disgruntled computer programmer]] (probably from Microsoft). | ||
12) God is also in five pieces and held together with duct-tape. | 12) God is also in five pieces and held together with duct-tape. | ||
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15) Sometimes there isn't anywhere on Earth you can run to. | 15) Sometimes there isn't anywhere on Earth you can run to. | ||
16) | 16) [[Knights of the Eastern Calculus]] are evil. Very evil. They look down women's skirts! And they play videogames with their children! Evil evil! | ||
17) Kids in bars know everything about computers. And they're always at the same table. Just accept that. | 17) [[Taro|Kids]] [[Masayuki|in]] [[Myu-Myu|bars]] know everything about computers. And they're always at the same table. Just accept that. | ||
18) Evil twins can totally screw up your social life. | 18) Evil twins can totally screw up your social life. | ||
19) But it's OK, because you can just make everyone forget it ever happened. | 19) But it's OK, because you can just make everyone [[Memory|forget]] it ever happened. | ||
20) When outside, shadows are made up of a weird splotchy red pattern. However, normal people can't see it. Simply accept this. | 20) When outside, shadows are made up of a weird splotchy red pattern. However, normal people can't see it. Simply accept this. | ||
21) If you're going to summon the devil on the internet, bring your quake cheatcodes. If you're going to summon God, bring a mop. | Other People's Suggestions (generally, they're much better than mine) | ||
21) If you're going to summon the devil on the [[the Wired|internet]], bring your quake cheatcodes. If you're going to summon God, bring a mop. | |||
22) The only certain thing in "life" is that teddy bear pajamas will never go out of style. | 22) The only certain thing in "life" is that [[Bear suit|teddy bear pajamas]] will never go out of style. | ||
23) When entertaining guests, take the wires off your lip. | 23) When entertaining guests, take the wires off your lip. | ||
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27) The best way to exist is not to. | 27) The best way to exist is not to. | ||
28) Someone is watching you. Always. | 28) Someone is watching you. [[Conspiracy|Always]]. | ||
29) Your friends are not your friends. Your family is not your family. Your body is not your body. Your mind is not your own. | 29) Your friends are not your friends. Your family is not your family. Your body is not your body. Your mind is not your own. | ||
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35) Never accept mail from strangers. | 35) Never accept mail from strangers. | ||
36) Reality is just like the wired, minus the computer. | 36) [[Reality]] is just like the wired, minus the computer. | ||
37) Don't try to kill your twin, it usually won't work. | 37) Don't try to kill your twin, it usually won't work. | ||
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38) If you get an email from a dead person, don't tell anyone about it. | 38) If you get an email from a dead person, don't tell anyone about it. | ||
39) If you need a new computer, | 39) If you need a new computer, don't worry about it because [[Tachibana General Laboratories|the company]] will almost immediately send you the newest model. | ||
40) If the telephone lines start dripping blood, be concerned. | 40) If the telephone lines start dripping blood, be concerned. | ||
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44) Don't tell God that maybe he isn't really God, he'll go nuts. | 44) Don't tell God that maybe he isn't really God, he'll go nuts. | ||
45) If your mom doesn't show up after telling her | 45) If your [[Shoko Masatsugu|mom]] doesn't show up after telling her it's her turn to play, go check on her. | ||
46) If you find yourself sitting in the middle of a busy street, don't worry the cars will go around you. | 46) If you find yourself sitting in the middle of a busy street, don't worry the cars will go around you. | ||
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47) Avoid men in black suits, men in ducktape, kids in bear suits, and boys playing video games like the plague. | 47) Avoid men in black suits, men in ducktape, kids in bear suits, and boys playing video games like the plague. | ||
48) | 48) Don't be judgmental; everyone is connected (So the guy who picks his nose in gym class is a part of you...EEWW!) | ||
49) Remember to update your software, you never know when your connection might go bad (How would you update a human being anyway?) | 49) Remember to update your software, you never know when your connection might go bad (How would you update a human being anyway?) | ||
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70) For that matter, just don't trust. | 70) For that matter, just don't trust. | ||
71) No one with a friend named Alice has a Normal life. | 71) No one with a friend named [[Alice Mizuki|Alice]] has a Normal life. | ||
72) Love is never having to speak to your spouse, unless your daughter freaks out. | 72) Love is never having to speak to your spouse, unless your daughter freaks out. | ||
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73) She's not your kid, or at least she wasn't until the update. | 73) She's not your kid, or at least she wasn't until the update. | ||
74) Taro is a lot like life. It has what you want, but you have to make it happy with you to get it, and it always wants you to be what | 74) Taro is a lot like life. It has what you want, but you have to make it happy with you to get it, and it always wants you to be what you're not... | ||
75) You are what you aren't you just are. Not. | 75) You are what you aren't you just are. Not. | ||
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82) Be afraid if you see the reflection of a little girl in your laser-goggle thingies. Be very afraid. | 82) Be afraid if you see the reflection of a little girl in your laser-goggle thingies. Be very afraid. | ||
83) Small girls with a single braid in their hair are all-powerful God's. Accept it. | 83) [[Lain Iwakura|Small girls]] with a single braid in their hair are all-powerful God's. Accept it. | ||
==Sources== | |||
== | |||
Taken from [http://web.archive.org/web/20090829113407/http://geocities.com/the_hfil/Features/all_lain.html here] | Taken from [http://web.archive.org/web/20090829113407/http://geocities.com/the_hfil/Features/all_lain.html here] | ||
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