Difference between revisions of "Talk:Come to the Wired"
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+ | ==Japanese stuff== | ||
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+ | First off: ''Nice.'' This draft looks a lot more interesting. | ||
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+ | Thing is, 死ぬ時? seems really, really incomplete. Based on my (limited and mostly based on anime/VNs) knowledge of Japanese, shouldn't it be something like 死ぬ時、どんな感じですか? It would have to be longer, though. [[User:Amysteriousgal|Amysteriousgal]] 09:37, 6 July 2013 (UTC) | ||
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+ | In the show, there was onscreen text that said 死ぬ時?・・・痛かった (笑) It's quoting that. I assume it's an abbreviated form of 死ぬ時はどう? It should be left as is. --[[User:Ain|Ain]] 02:48, 16 July 2013 (UTC) | ||
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+ | ==ideas from irc== | ||
+ | |||
+ | here's the ideas that ain had: | ||
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+ | 02.1910:54 < denkimusume> So you have the school play scene as mostly same | ||
+ | 02.1911:35 < denkimusume> Then instead of going straight to Wired, we have a montage of Chisa just not fitting in, I guess? | ||
+ | 02.1911:43 < denkimusume> This includes her going to Cyberia | ||
+ | 02.1911:46 < denkimusume> and stuff | ||
+ | 02.1911:54 < denkimusume> just get all that out of the way early on | ||
+ | 02.1912:03 < denkimusume> Then we have the first Wired scene | ||
+ | 02.1912:07 < denkimusume> where she's useful | ||
+ | 02.1912:13 < denkimusume> and we combine that with the second | ||
+ | 02.1912:23 < denkimusume> where they comfort her and stuff | ||
+ | 02.1913:05 < denkimusume> Next we have her walk home with lain | ||
+ | 02.1913:29 < denkimusume> And we take some ideas from the last walk in the empty corridor and add that into this scene | ||
+ | 02.1913:37 < denkimusume> this scene should probably be the longest | ||
+ | 02.1914:32 < denkimusume> We have the last Wired scene where the Knights inform her that 'God is here' and tell her about the Psyche processor | ||
+ | 02.1915:00 < denkimusume> We can include a VERY brief reiteration of the last walk in the empty corridor, minus most of the lain stuff | ||
+ | 02.1915:16 < denkimusume> More morbid than anything | ||
+ | 02.1915:25 < denkimusume> Then the last scene is the Psyche processor arriving | ||
+ | 02.1915:37 < denkimusume> Literally fuck the rooftop scene we don't need it | ||
+ | 02.1916:31 < denkimusume> The player KNOWS what happens to her, we don't need to draw it out in its detail | ||
+ | 02.1917:12 < denkimusume> And to be honest the scene itself as I see it written here doesn't express anything that the previous scenes don't already establish | ||
+ | 02.1918:18 < denkimusume> If we want it to be really cool the first line of the thing could be | ||
+ | 02.1919:36 < denkimusume> frig I can't type moon here | ||
+ | 02.1919:43 < denkimusume> but the card | ||
+ | 02.1920:08 < denkimusume> 'Ne, shinu toki?' (what was it like when you died?) | ||
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+ | |||
==music== | ==music== | ||
Latest revision as of 02:48, 16 July 2013
Japanese stuff
First off: Nice. This draft looks a lot more interesting.
Thing is, 死ぬ時? seems really, really incomplete. Based on my (limited and mostly based on anime/VNs) knowledge of Japanese, shouldn't it be something like 死ぬ時、どんな感じですか? It would have to be longer, though. Amysteriousgal 09:37, 6 July 2013 (UTC)
In the show, there was onscreen text that said 死ぬ時?・・・痛かった (笑) It's quoting that. I assume it's an abbreviated form of 死ぬ時はどう? It should be left as is. --Ain 02:48, 16 July 2013 (UTC)
ideas from irc
here's the ideas that ain had:
02.1910:54 < denkimusume> So you have the school play scene as mostly same 02.1911:35 < denkimusume> Then instead of going straight to Wired, we have a montage of Chisa just not fitting in, I guess? 02.1911:43 < denkimusume> This includes her going to Cyberia 02.1911:46 < denkimusume> and stuff 02.1911:54 < denkimusume> just get all that out of the way early on 02.1912:03 < denkimusume> Then we have the first Wired scene 02.1912:07 < denkimusume> where she's useful 02.1912:13 < denkimusume> and we combine that with the second 02.1912:23 < denkimusume> where they comfort her and stuff 02.1913:05 < denkimusume> Next we have her walk home with lain 02.1913:29 < denkimusume> And we take some ideas from the last walk in the empty corridor and add that into this scene 02.1913:37 < denkimusume> this scene should probably be the longest 02.1914:32 < denkimusume> We have the last Wired scene where the Knights inform her that 'God is here' and tell her about the Psyche processor 02.1915:00 < denkimusume> We can include a VERY brief reiteration of the last walk in the empty corridor, minus most of the lain stuff 02.1915:16 < denkimusume> More morbid than anything 02.1915:25 < denkimusume> Then the last scene is the Psyche processor arriving 02.1915:37 < denkimusume> Literally fuck the rooftop scene we don't need it 02.1916:31 < denkimusume> The player KNOWS what happens to her, we don't need to draw it out in its detail 02.1917:12 < denkimusume> And to be honest the scene itself as I see it written here doesn't express anything that the previous scenes don't already establish 02.1918:18 < denkimusume> If we want it to be really cool the first line of the thing could be 02.1919:36 < denkimusume> frig I can't type moon here 02.1919:43 < denkimusume> but the card 02.1920:08 < denkimusume> 'Ne, shinu toki?' (what was it like when you died?)
music
There's no music designed into it right now - it's probably too short to warrant many tracks anyway, and in the spirit of Lain, most of the sounds are noise.
length
I still have the impression that something needs to be added to this one. It seems empty. Amysteriousgal 13:12, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
- Perhaps it could be a little longer, but I am liking the structure. I think ending the story at the "I let it all go." (basically leaving out the "aftermath") might have a nice, strong impact. --アラベスク 15:07, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
- I do like the idea of that being the end. Maybe slip a mental invite to Lain earlier into the last paragraph?Bytor 22:33, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
- One place I could see lengthening it is to maybe have some content as she decides to go to the Wired. I don't think she would be in a state to just jump right away, so maybe some more debating it, finding out what is involved, getting convinced? I do like what is here, and I think it will work well as a sort of intro, first story for the collection- lengthening it to much may ruin that "prelude" feel. Bytor 22:20, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
- Now that I think about it more, if anything were added, it probably should be pretty short; the way this is written (and SEL itself), is very efficient and compact when it comes to dialogue. Just enough to get rid of that "ok, why is she just killing herself?" feeling that the method of entering the Wired can give.Bytor 22:22, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
- Yeah, I'll elaborate on that a bit. May as well mention Eiri, too. Amysteriousgal 11:31, 20 December 2012 (UTC)
required viewing
Do we maybe want to do this so that the first time you launch the VN, it does a basic options screen, then jumps straight to this VN? Then, each subsequent launch goes to the title screen. Assuming ren'py supports this, of course. Bytor 22:31, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
- There's a splashscreen thing built in, so we could use that. I have no idea how to make the prologue only play the first time the game is opened, though. Amysteriousgal 11:31, 20 December 2012 (UTC)
- There's probably a way to save/read a state from a file (if launched=1, skip prelude or something like that). --アラベスク 13:12, 20 December 2012 (UTC)