Difference between revisions of "Talk:Come to the Wired"

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==Japanese stuff==
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First off: ''Nice.'' This draft looks a lot more interesting.
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Thing is, 死ぬ時? seems really, really incomplete. Based on my (limited and mostly based on anime/VNs) knowledge of Japanese, shouldn't it be something like 死ぬ時、どんな感じですか? It would have to be longer, though. [[User:Amysteriousgal|Amysteriousgal]] 09:37, 6 July 2013 (UTC)
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In the show, there was onscreen text that said 死ぬ時?・・・痛かった (笑) It's quoting that. I assume it's an abbreviated form of 死ぬ時はどう? It should be left as is. --[[User:Ain|Ain]] 02:48, 16 July 2013 (UTC)
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==ideas from irc==
 
==ideas from irc==
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here's the ideas that ain had:
 
here's the ideas that ain had:
  
02.1910:54 < denkimusume> So you have the school play scene as mostly same
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02.1910:54 < denkimusume> So you have the school play scene as mostly same
02.1911:35 < denkimusume> Then instead of going straight to Wired, we have a montage of Chisa just not fitting in, I guess?
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02.1911:35 < denkimusume> Then instead of going straight to Wired, we have a montage of Chisa just not fitting in, I guess?
02.1911:43 < denkimusume> This includes her going to Cyberia
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02.1911:43 < denkimusume> This includes her going to Cyberia
02.1911:46 < denkimusume> and stuff
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02.1911:46 < denkimusume> and stuff
02.1911:54 < denkimusume> just get all that out of the way early on
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02.1911:54 < denkimusume> just get all that out of the way early on
02.1912:03 < denkimusume> Then we have the first Wired scene
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02.1912:03 < denkimusume> Then we have the first Wired scene
02.1912:07 < denkimusume> where she's useful
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02.1912:07 < denkimusume> where she's useful
02.1912:13 < denkimusume> and we combine that with the second
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02.1912:13 < denkimusume> and we combine that with the second
02.1912:23 < denkimusume> where they comfort her and stuff
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02.1912:23 < denkimusume> where they comfort her and stuff
02.1913:05 < denkimusume> Next we have her walk home with lain
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02.1913:05 < denkimusume> Next we have her walk home with lain
02.1913:29 < denkimusume> And we take some ideas from the last walk in the empty corridor and add that into this scene
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02.1913:29 < denkimusume> And we take some ideas from the last walk in the empty corridor and add that into this scene
02.1913:37 < denkimusume> this scene should probably be the longest
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02.1913:37 < denkimusume> this scene should probably be the longest
02.1914:32 < denkimusume> We have the last Wired scene where the Knights inform her that 'God is here' and tell her about the Psyche processor
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02.1914:32 < denkimusume> We have the last Wired scene where the Knights inform her that 'God is here' and tell her about the Psyche processor
02.1915:00 < denkimusume> We can include a VERY brief reiteration of the last walk in the empty corridor, minus most of the lain stuff
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02.1915:00 < denkimusume> We can include a VERY brief reiteration of the last walk in the empty corridor, minus most of the lain stuff
02.1915:16 < denkimusume> More morbid than anything
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02.1915:16 < denkimusume> More morbid than anything
02.1915:25 < denkimusume> Then the last scene is the Psyche processor arriving
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02.1915:25 < denkimusume> Then the last scene is the Psyche processor arriving
02.1915:37 < denkimusume> Literally fuck the rooftop scene we don't need it
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02.1915:37 < denkimusume> Literally fuck the rooftop scene we don't need it
02.1916:31 < denkimusume> The player KNOWS what happens to her, we don't need to draw it out in its detail
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02.1916:31 < denkimusume> The player KNOWS what happens to her, we don't need to draw it out in its detail
02.1917:12 < denkimusume> And to be honest the scene itself as I see it written here doesn't express anything that the previous scenes don't already establish
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02.1917:12 < denkimusume> And to be honest the scene itself as I see it written here doesn't express anything that the previous scenes don't already establish
02.1918:18 < denkimusume> If we want it to be really cool the first line of the thing could be
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02.1918:18 < denkimusume> If we want it to be really cool the first line of the thing could be
02.1919:36 < denkimusume> frig I can't type moon here
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02.1919:36 < denkimusume> frig I can't type moon here
02.1919:43 < denkimusume> but the card
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02.1919:43 < denkimusume> but the card
02.1920:08 < denkimusume> 'Ne, shinu toki?' (what was it like when you died?)
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02.1920:08 < denkimusume> 'Ne, shinu toki?' (what was it like when you died?)
  
  

Latest revision as of 02:48, 16 July 2013

Japanese stuff

First off: Nice. This draft looks a lot more interesting.

Thing is, 死ぬ時? seems really, really incomplete. Based on my (limited and mostly based on anime/VNs) knowledge of Japanese, shouldn't it be something like 死ぬ時、どんな感じですか? It would have to be longer, though. Amysteriousgal 09:37, 6 July 2013 (UTC)

In the show, there was onscreen text that said 死ぬ時?・・・痛かった (笑) It's quoting that. I assume it's an abbreviated form of 死ぬ時はどう? It should be left as is. --Ain 02:48, 16 July 2013 (UTC)

ideas from irc

here's the ideas that ain had:

02.1910:54 < denkimusume> So you have the school play scene as mostly same  
02.1911:35 < denkimusume> Then instead of going straight to Wired, we have a montage of Chisa just not fitting in, I guess?
02.1911:43 < denkimusume> This includes her going to Cyberia
02.1911:46 < denkimusume> and stuff
02.1911:54 < denkimusume> just get all that out of the way early on
02.1912:03 < denkimusume> Then we have the first Wired scene
02.1912:07 < denkimusume> where she's useful
02.1912:13 < denkimusume> and we combine that with the second
02.1912:23 < denkimusume> where they comfort her and stuff
02.1913:05 < denkimusume> Next we have her walk home with lain
02.1913:29 < denkimusume> And we take some ideas from the last walk in the empty corridor and add that into this scene
02.1913:37 < denkimusume> this scene should probably be the longest
02.1914:32 < denkimusume> We have the last Wired scene where the Knights inform her that 'God is here' and tell her about the Psyche processor
02.1915:00 < denkimusume> We can include a VERY brief reiteration of the last walk in the empty corridor, minus most of the lain stuff
02.1915:16 < denkimusume> More morbid than anything
02.1915:25 < denkimusume> Then the last scene is the Psyche processor arriving
02.1915:37 < denkimusume> Literally fuck the rooftop scene we don't need it
02.1916:31 < denkimusume> The player KNOWS what happens to her, we don't need to draw it out in its detail
02.1917:12 < denkimusume> And to be honest the scene itself as I see it written here doesn't express anything that the previous scenes don't already establish
02.1918:18 < denkimusume> If we want it to be really cool the first line of the thing could be
02.1919:36 < denkimusume> frig I can't type moon here
02.1919:43 < denkimusume> but the card
02.1920:08 < denkimusume> 'Ne, shinu toki?' (what was it like when you died?)


music

There's no music designed into it right now - it's probably too short to warrant many tracks anyway, and in the spirit of Lain, most of the sounds are noise.


length

I still have the impression that something needs to be added to this one. It seems empty. Amysteriousgal 13:12, 19 December 2012 (UTC)

Perhaps it could be a little longer, but I am liking the structure. I think ending the story at the "I let it all go." (basically leaving out the "aftermath") might have a nice, strong impact. --アラベスク 15:07, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
I do like the idea of that being the end. Maybe slip a mental invite to Lain earlier into the last paragraph?Bytor 22:33, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
One place I could see lengthening it is to maybe have some content as she decides to go to the Wired. I don't think she would be in a state to just jump right away, so maybe some more debating it, finding out what is involved, getting convinced? I do like what is here, and I think it will work well as a sort of intro, first story for the collection- lengthening it to much may ruin that "prelude" feel. Bytor 22:20, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
Now that I think about it more, if anything were added, it probably should be pretty short; the way this is written (and SEL itself), is very efficient and compact when it comes to dialogue. Just enough to get rid of that "ok, why is she just killing herself?" feeling that the method of entering the Wired can give.Bytor 22:22, 19 December 2012 (UTC)
Yeah, I'll elaborate on that a bit. May as well mention Eiri, too. Amysteriousgal 11:31, 20 December 2012 (UTC)


required viewing

Do we maybe want to do this so that the first time you launch the VN, it does a basic options screen, then jumps straight to this VN? Then, each subsequent launch goes to the title screen. Assuming ren'py supports this, of course. Bytor 22:31, 19 December 2012 (UTC)

There's a splashscreen thing built in, so we could use that. I have no idea how to make the prologue only play the first time the game is opened, though. Amysteriousgal 11:31, 20 December 2012 (UTC)
There's probably a way to save/read a state from a file (if launched=1, skip prelude or something like that). --アラベスク 13:12, 20 December 2012 (UTC)