Difference between revisions of "Come to the Wired"
m (clean up, typos fixed: don’t → don't (25), … → ... (6), isn’t → isn't, You’re → You're (2), she’s → she's, There’s → There's (2), It’s → It's (6), ’s → 's) |
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{{VNProject}} | {{VNProject}} | ||
− | + | = Second Draft (ain) = | |
− | Scene 0. | + | ==Scene 0.== |
''Black screen. Words, center, type in'' | ''Black screen. Words, center, type in'' | ||
+ | <!-- if anybody is reading this, please fix the 2 lines bellow because they cross over the template --> | ||
'''「死ぬ時?」''' | '''「死ぬ時?」''' | ||
'''“What was it like when you died?”''' | '''“What was it like when you died?”''' | ||
Line 10: | Line 11: | ||
''Fade out.'' | ''Fade out.'' | ||
− | Scene | + | ==Scene One, Classroom, Day.== |
''Ambient hushed whispers. Image, sheet of paper with class play, in moonspeak. [Can be legitimate, like Love-Suicide at Amajima, or we could just stick text from scenario experiments lain in].'' | ''Ambient hushed whispers. Image, sheet of paper with class play, in moonspeak. [Can be legitimate, like Love-Suicide at Amajima, or we could just stick text from scenario experiments lain in].'' | ||
− | I | + | I don't know why, but I can't seem to do anything right. |
It was only a minor role in a class play. I had one line. Just one. | It was only a minor role in a class play. I had one line. Just one. | ||
− | But I | + | But I couldn't say it. My time came to say my line, but I couldn't make a sound. |
− | Everyone was staring at me. Waiting for me. The play | + | Everyone was staring at me. Waiting for me. The play couldn't go on until I gave the main character his cue. |
I started shaking. My heart raced. | I started shaking. My heart raced. | ||
Line 37: | Line 38: | ||
''Montage of scenery of Chisa highlighted alone in various scenes of her being isolated, being bullied, perhaps, sitting by herself at Cyberia, walking home alone, perhaps entering an empty house, loop until ending of text in bold below.'' | ''Montage of scenery of Chisa highlighted alone in various scenes of her being isolated, being bullied, perhaps, sitting by herself at Cyberia, walking home alone, perhaps entering an empty house, loop until ending of text in bold below.'' | ||
− | ''' | + | '''It's always been like this.''' |
− | '''They | + | '''They don't need me.''' |
− | '''The world | + | '''The world doesn't need me.''' |
''Fade to black, while still looping. After black, stop looping.'' | ''Fade to black, while still looping. After black, stop looping.'' | ||
Line 47: | Line 48: | ||
'''Chisa:''' “I’m sorry…” | '''Chisa:''' “I’m sorry…” | ||
− | Scene | + | ==Scene Two, Bedroom, Night.== |
''Image, Chibi-Navi login screen. Ambient noise from computer fans.'' | ''Image, Chibi-Navi login screen. Ambient noise from computer fans.'' | ||
(「だれ?」 | (「だれ?」 | ||
Line 56: | Line 57: | ||
I have another life. On the Wired. | I have another life. On the Wired. | ||
− | I can talk to people there. | + | I can talk to people there. It's easy, hiding behind a screen. I don't get nervous. I can find people who are like me, and even make friends with them. |
− | On the Wired, nobody knows who I am. I | + | On the Wired, nobody knows who I am. I don't need to stay silent, afraid of saying something wrong. There are no consequences to my mistakes. Nobody hates me there. |
''Image, screen, perhaps some BBS or Futaba-based imageboard.'' | ''Image, screen, perhaps some BBS or Futaba-based imageboard.'' | ||
Line 65: | Line 66: | ||
>>73 | >>73 | ||
すごい!乙!! | すごい!乙!! | ||
− | + | You're so cool! Thanks!! | |
名無しさん No.79 | 名無しさん No.79 | ||
Anonymous | Anonymous | ||
>>73 | >>73 | ||
神!大きにありがとう! | 神!大きにありがとう! | ||
− | + | You're amazing! Thanks so much! | |
ヨモ田さん No.80 | ヨモ田さん No.80 | ||
Yomoda-san | Yomoda-san | ||
Line 76: | Line 77: | ||
>>79 | >>79 | ||
どういたしまして。喜んで手伝った。^_^ | どういたしまして。喜んで手伝った。^_^ | ||
− | + | It's nothing. I'm glad I could help. ) | |
I was useful there. | I was useful there. | ||
Line 85: | Line 86: | ||
誰もあたしのことわからない。クラスにいる少女たちにクラッブへ連れて来られたけど、あたし、踊れらないから取り残された。 | 誰もあたしのことわからない。クラスにいる少女たちにクラッブへ連れて来られたけど、あたし、踊れらないから取り残された。 | ||
あたしの存在は惨めね。 | あたしの存在は惨めね。 | ||
− | Nobody understands me. I was taken to a club by some girls in my class, but I | + | Nobody understands me. I was taken to a club by some girls in my class, but I can't dance, so they left me behind. |
− | My existence is wretched, | + | My existence is wretched, isn't it? |
名無しさん No. 33 | 名無しさん No. 33 | ||
Anonymous | Anonymous | ||
>>32 | >>32 | ||
ひどい!かまわない、ヨモ田さん!そう言った人々は友達じゃないよー | ひどい!かまわない、ヨモ田さん!そう言った人々は友達じゃないよー | ||
− | How mean! | + | How mean! Don't worry about it, Yomoda-san! People like that aren't friends! |
名無しさん No. 34 | 名無しさん No. 34 | ||
Anonymous | Anonymous | ||
Line 108: | Line 109: | ||
They want me there. | They want me there. | ||
− | I can be myself in front of them, and I | + | I can be myself in front of them, and I don't need to worry about them hating me at all. I can speak my mind without freezing up or wanting to cry. |
I belong there. | I belong there. | ||
− | Scene Three, Streets, Late Afternoon. | + | ==Scene Three, Streets, Late Afternoon.== |
''Image, streets, include bloody shadows. Ambient waan waan waan 50MHz hum.'' | ''Image, streets, include bloody shadows. Ambient waan waan waan 50MHz hum.'' | ||
− | + | There's a girl from another class. | |
Lain Iwakura. | Lain Iwakura. | ||
− | She never talks to anyone. That means | + | She never talks to anyone. That means she's quiet, like me. I think she might be lonely, too. |
Like me. | Like me. | ||
Line 125: | Line 126: | ||
I walked home with her today. We never said a word to each other, but I felt somehow connected to her. | I walked home with her today. We never said a word to each other, but I felt somehow connected to her. | ||
− | Even though she and I never spoke, I felt comforted. It was a familiar feeling that I | + | Even though she and I never spoke, I felt comforted. It was a familiar feeling that I couldn't place at first, but then I realized— |
For some reason, being with lain felt just like being on the Wired. | For some reason, being with lain felt just like being on the Wired. | ||
Line 131: | Line 132: | ||
''Image, lain profile view from her left, expression rather blank and forlorn.'' | ''Image, lain profile view from her left, expression rather blank and forlorn.'' | ||
− | I feel like she belongs there too, just like me. I | + | I feel like she belongs there too, just like me. I don't know how, but I feel like she would be happy there. |
− | I want to be her friend. But I | + | I want to be her friend. But I can't talk to people in a place like this. |
− | If only she was on the Wired, we could be happy together. We could connect, and we | + | If only she was on the Wired, we could be happy together. We could connect, and we wouldn't have to hide or walk home in silence. |
− | + | ...But I’ve never seen her use a NAVI before. | |
− | I wanted to tell her, ‘Come to the Wired as soon as you can,’ but I | + | I wanted to tell her, ‘Come to the Wired as soon as you can,’ but I didn't say anything. |
− | I | + | I don't know why, but I can't seem to do anything right. |
− | Scene | + | ==Scene Four, Bedroom, Night.== |
''Image, screen, closeup of some words on the screen. Ambient computer noises.'' | ''Image, screen, closeup of some words on the screen. Ambient computer noises.'' | ||
(ここに神様がいるよー) | (ここに神様がいるよー) | ||
Line 155: | Line 156: | ||
He loves all of us. | He loves all of us. | ||
− | + | ...I wonder... | |
If he truly can love someone like me. | If he truly can love someone like me. | ||
Line 174: | Line 175: | ||
They said it would let me enter the Wired without needing a NAVI. | They said it would let me enter the Wired without needing a NAVI. | ||
− | + | ...They told me about abandoning the flesh. | |
''Image, screen, chat client again.'' | ''Image, screen, chat client again.'' | ||
Line 181: | Line 182: | ||
[04:31:23] ヨモダ:そう・・・必要ない。) | [04:31:23] ヨモダ:そう・・・必要ない。) | ||
− | ''Chisa:'' Is that really the only way? It sounds | + | ''Chisa:'' Is that really the only way? It sounds scary... |
− | ''Knight:'' Yeah. | + | ''Knight:'' Yeah. There's no other way. You said that the real world doesn't need you, anyway, didn't you? |
− | ''Chisa:'' | + | ''Chisa:'' Right...it doesn't need me. |
− | Scene | + | ==Scene Five, Empty Corridor, Late afternoon.== |
''Silence'' | ''Silence'' | ||
Line 194: | Line 195: | ||
Waiting. | Waiting. | ||
− | I | + | I didn't talk to lain today, either. I just couldn't. I was too afraid. |
− | + | I'm pathetic. Here I'm nobody at all. | |
− | But there I can be somebody. I can work to my fullest potential. I can become someone worthy of | + | But there I can be somebody. I can work to my fullest potential. I can become someone worthy of God's Love. |
I belong there, in the Wired. | I belong there, in the Wired. | ||
Line 207: | Line 208: | ||
'''Chisa:''' “I…would be better off not being in a place like this…” | '''Chisa:''' “I…would be better off not being in a place like this…” | ||
− | Scene | + | ==Scene Six, Front hall, evening== |
''Image, open package with a Psyche processor nearby. Should be something like an envelope.'' | ''Image, open package with a Psyche processor nearby. Should be something like an envelope.'' | ||
Line 222: | Line 223: | ||
''Fade to black'' | ''Fade to black'' | ||
− | Scene 0.2 | + | ==Scene 0.2== |
''Slowly fade in words from before.'' | ''Slowly fade in words from before.'' | ||
Latest revision as of 08:14, 31 December 2022
Come to the Wired | |
---|---|
Information | |
|
Second Draft (ain)
Scene 0.
Black screen. Words, center, type in
「死ぬ時?」 “What was it like when you died?”
Fade out.
Scene One, Classroom, Day.
Ambient hushed whispers. Image, sheet of paper with class play, in moonspeak. [Can be legitimate, like Love-Suicide at Amajima, or we could just stick text from scenario experiments lain in].
I don't know why, but I can't seem to do anything right.
It was only a minor role in a class play. I had one line. Just one.
But I couldn't say it. My time came to say my line, but I couldn't make a sound.
Everyone was staring at me. Waiting for me. The play couldn't go on until I gave the main character his cue.
I started shaking. My heart raced.
I wanted to cry.
Why did this have to happen to me, at such a crucial moment? I just needed to say this simple line. They needed me to—
The next line came without me saying anything. They moved on somehow. The play continued without me.
They all left me behind.
Black
At that moment, I understood.
Montage of scenery of Chisa highlighted alone in various scenes of her being isolated, being bullied, perhaps, sitting by herself at Cyberia, walking home alone, perhaps entering an empty house, loop until ending of text in bold below.
It's always been like this.
They don't need me.
The world doesn't need me.
Fade to black, while still looping. After black, stop looping.
Chisa: “I’m sorry…”
Scene Two, Bedroom, Night.
Image, Chibi-Navi login screen. Ambient noise from computer fans. (「だれ?」 “Who are you?” 四方田千砂 chisa yomoda)
I have another life. On the Wired.
I can talk to people there. It's easy, hiding behind a screen. I don't get nervous. I can find people who are like me, and even make friends with them.
On the Wired, nobody knows who I am. I don't need to stay silent, afraid of saying something wrong. There are no consequences to my mistakes. Nobody hates me there.
Image, screen, perhaps some BBS or Futaba-based imageboard.
(名無しさん No. 78 Anonymous >>73 すごい!乙!! You're so cool! Thanks!! 名無しさん No.79 Anonymous >>73 神!大きにありがとう! You're amazing! Thanks so much! ヨモ田さん No.80 Yomoda-san >>78 >>79 どういたしまして。喜んで手伝った。^_^ It's nothing. I'm glad I could help. )
I was useful there.
Image, screen, imageboard
(ヨモ田さん No. 32 Yomoda-san 誰もあたしのことわからない。クラスにいる少女たちにクラッブへ連れて来られたけど、あたし、踊れらないから取り残された。 あたしの存在は惨めね。 Nobody understands me. I was taken to a club by some girls in my class, but I can't dance, so they left me behind. My existence is wretched, isn't it? 名無しさん No. 33 Anonymous >>32 ひどい!かまわない、ヨモ田さん!そう言った人々は友達じゃないよー How mean! Don't worry about it, Yomoda-san! People like that aren't friends! 名無しさん No. 34 Anonymous >>32 ワイヤードに来ればいいの。私たちはヨモ田さんがわかる! You should come to the Wired. We understand you, Yomoda-san! ヨモ田さん No. 35 Yomoda-san >>33 >>34 そう?聞いてくれて本当にありがとう。 Is that so? I really appreciate you listening to me.)
They care about me there.
They want me there.
I can be myself in front of them, and I don't need to worry about them hating me at all. I can speak my mind without freezing up or wanting to cry.
I belong there.
Scene Three, Streets, Late Afternoon.
Image, streets, include bloody shadows. Ambient waan waan waan 50MHz hum.
There's a girl from another class.
Lain Iwakura.
She never talks to anyone. That means she's quiet, like me. I think she might be lonely, too.
Like me.
I walked home with her today. We never said a word to each other, but I felt somehow connected to her.
Even though she and I never spoke, I felt comforted. It was a familiar feeling that I couldn't place at first, but then I realized—
For some reason, being with lain felt just like being on the Wired.
Image, lain profile view from her left, expression rather blank and forlorn.
I feel like she belongs there too, just like me. I don't know how, but I feel like she would be happy there.
I want to be her friend. But I can't talk to people in a place like this.
If only she was on the Wired, we could be happy together. We could connect, and we wouldn't have to hide or walk home in silence.
...But I’ve never seen her use a NAVI before.
I wanted to tell her, ‘Come to the Wired as soon as you can,’ but I didn't say anything.
I don't know why, but I can't seem to do anything right.
Scene Four, Bedroom, Night.
Image, screen, closeup of some words on the screen. Ambient computer noises.
(ここに神様がいるよー)
Today, I heard something interesting on the Wired.
God is here.
The Knights say that God lives in the Wired. He is omnipresent, just like the Wired. He sees everything and knows everyone. He connects all of us by being connected to all of us Himself.
He loves all of us.
...I wonder...
If he truly can love someone like me.
Someone who is useless and awkward and unable to talk to anyone.
Image, screen, some sort of group chat client. IRC or similar chat client.
([02:04:01] バイトル:ワイヤードへ来さえすれば神様があなたを愛する。 [02:04:44] ヨモダ:それじゃ、永遠にここにいたい。)
Knight: He will love you as long as you come to the Wired. Chisa: I want to be here forever, then.
Image, screen, details on the Psyche processor, maybe a close up of part of ab# layer 03
They told me about the Psyche processor.
They said it would let me enter the Wired without needing a NAVI.
...They told me about abandoning the flesh.
Image, screen, chat client again.
([04:23:43] ヨモダ:本当にただ一つ方法?怖そう・・・ [04:25:01] 大正電氣娘:うん。他の方法無い。何しろ、リアル・ワルドにあなたは必要ないって言ってたね。 [04:31:23] ヨモダ:そう・・・必要ない。)
Chisa: Is that really the only way? It sounds scary... Knight: Yeah. There's no other way. You said that the real world doesn't need you, anyway, didn't you? Chisa: Right...it doesn't need me.
Scene Five, Empty Corridor, Late afternoon.
Silence
Even knowing what I had learned last night, I went back to school as usual.
I was alone, as usual.
Waiting.
I didn't talk to lain today, either. I just couldn't. I was too afraid.
I'm pathetic. Here I'm nobody at all.
But there I can be somebody. I can work to my fullest potential. I can become someone worthy of God's Love.
I belong there, in the Wired.
Black, words, centered. (「あたしは――こんなところにいなくてもいいの――」)
Chisa: “I…would be better off not being in a place like this…”
Scene Six, Front hall, evening
Image, open package with a Psyche processor nearby. Should be something like an envelope.
It arrived today. I found it on my desk when I got home.
There was a note. Image, typed note.
(早くワイヤードに来てー 待ってる。)
“Come to the Wired as soon as you can.” “We’re waiting.”
Fade to black
Scene 0.2
Slowly fade in words from before.
「死ぬ時?」 “What was it like when you died?”
Below, type in slowly.
「痛かった(笑)」 “It hurt. Heehee.”