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1) Sometimes, the only thing worse than being depressed and alone is NOT being depressed and alone.
 
1) Sometimes, the only thing worse than being depressed and alone is NOT being depressed and alone.
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2) Hip clubs can be more trouble than they're worth.
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2) [[Cyberia|Hip clubs]] can be more trouble than they're worth.
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3) Drugs are bad. Especially if they look like machines.
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3) Drugs are bad. Especially if they look like [[Accela|machines]].
    
4) Playing tag can be a REALLY bad idea.
 
4) Playing tag can be a REALLY bad idea.
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5) Computers are cool. Big computers are cooler. Computers that fill an entire room are beyond cool.
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5) [[NAVI|Computers]] are cool. Big computers are cooler. Computers that fill an entire room are beyond cool.
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6) They aren't your real parents.
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6) They aren't your real [[Family|parents]].
    
7) She isn't your real sister (especially if she does nothing but make modem noises).
 
7) She isn't your real sister (especially if she does nothing but make modem noises).
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8) There is only one me, and I am me.
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8) There is only one me, and [[Identity|I am me]].
    
9) No there isn't.
 
9) No there isn't.
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10) The MIB do exist, and one of them is a crazy Asian guy. The other has a Lolita Complex.
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10) The [[MIB]] do exist, and one of them is a crazy Asian guy. The other has a Lolita Complex.
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11) God is a disgruntled computer programer (probably from Microsoft).
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11) [[God]] is a [[Eiri|disgruntled computer programmer]] (probably from Microsoft).
    
12) God is also in five pieces and held together with duct-tape.
 
12) God is also in five pieces and held together with duct-tape.
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15) Sometimes there isn't anywhere on Earth you can run to.
 
15) Sometimes there isn't anywhere on Earth you can run to.
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16) The Knights are evil. Very evil. They look down womens skirts! And they play videogames with their children! Evil evil!
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16) [[The Knights]] are evil. Very evil. They look down womens skirts! And they play videogames with their children! Evil evil!
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17) Kids in bars know everything about computers. And they're always at the same table. Just accept that.
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17) [[Taro|Kids]] [[Masayuki|in]] [[Myu-Myu|bars]] know everything about computers. And they're always at the same table. Just accept that.
    
18) Evil twins can totally screw up your social life.
 
18) Evil twins can totally screw up your social life.
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19) But it's OK, because you can just make everyone forget it ever happened.
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19) But it's OK, because you can just make everyone [[Memory|forget]] it ever happened.
    
20) When outside, shadows are made up of a weird splotchy red pattern. However, normal people can't see it. Simply accept this.
 
20) When outside, shadows are made up of a weird splotchy red pattern. However, normal people can't see it. Simply accept this.
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21) If you're going to summon the devil on the internet, bring your quake cheatcodes. If you're going to summon God, bring a mop.
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21) If you're going to summon the devil on the [[Wired|internet]], bring your quake cheatcodes. If you're going to summon God, bring a mop.
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22) The only certain thing in "life" is that teddy bear pajamas will never go out of style.
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22) The only certain thing in "life" is that [[Bear suit|teddy bear pajamas]] will never go out of style.
    
23) When entertaining guests, take the wires off your lip.
 
23) When entertaining guests, take the wires off your lip.
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27) The best way to exist is not to.
 
27) The best way to exist is not to.
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28) Someone is watching you. Always.
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28) Someone is watching you. [[Conspiracy|Always]].
    
29) Your friends are not your friends. Your family is not your family. Your body is not your body. Your mind is not your own.
 
29) Your friends are not your friends. Your family is not your family. Your body is not your body. Your mind is not your own.
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31) We are all software. Even worse, we're all freeware with no warranty, no manual, and an interface that even God has a hard time using.
 
31) We are all software. Even worse, we're all freeware with no warranty, no manual, and an interface that even God has a hard time using.
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32) If you're gonna die, make sure to send emails out about how you're not really dead.
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32) If you're gonna [[Suicide|die]], make sure to send emails out about how you're not really dead.
    
33) If you see MIB standing outside your house, be afraid.
 
33) If you see MIB standing outside your house, be afraid.
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35) Never accept mail from strangers.
 
35) Never accept mail from strangers.
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36) Reality is just like the wired, minus the computer.
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36) [[Reality]] is just like the wired, minus the computer.
    
37) Don't try to kill your twin, it usually won't work.
 
37) Don't try to kill your twin, it usually won't work.
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38) If you get an email from a dead person, don't tell anyone about it.
 
38) If you get an email from a dead person, don't tell anyone about it.
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39) If you need a new computer, don’t worry about it because the company will almost immediately send you the newest model.
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39) If you need a new computer, don’t worry about it because [[Tachibana Labs|the company]] will almost immediately send you the newest model.
    
40) If the telephone lines start dripping blood, be concerned.
 
40) If the telephone lines start dripping blood, be concerned.
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44) Don't tell God that maybe he isn't really God, he'll go nuts.
 
44) Don't tell God that maybe he isn't really God, he'll go nuts.
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45) If your mom doesn't show up after telling her it’s her turn to play, go check on her.
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45) If your [[Shoko|mom]] doesn't show up after telling her it’s her turn to play, go check on her.
    
46) If you find yourself sitting in the middle of a busy street, don't worry the cars will go around you.
 
46) If you find yourself sitting in the middle of a busy street, don't worry the cars will go around you.
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70) For that matter, just don't trust.
 
70) For that matter, just don't trust.
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71) No one with a friend named Alice has a Normal life.
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71) No one with a friend named [[Alice]] has a Normal life.
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72) Love is never having to speak to your spouse, unless your daughter freaks out.
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72) [[Love]] is never having to speak to your spouse, unless your daughter freaks out.
    
73) She's not your kid, or at least she wasn't until the update.
 
73) She's not your kid, or at least she wasn't until the update.
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82) Be afraid if you see the reflection of a little girl in your laser-goggle thingies. Be very afraid.
 
82) Be afraid if you see the reflection of a little girl in your laser-goggle thingies. Be very afraid.
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83) Small girls with a single braid in their hair are all-powerful God's. Accept it.
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83) [[Lain|Small girls]] with a single braid in their hair are all-powerful God's. Accept it.
       
==Source==
 
==Source==
 
Taken from [http://web.archive.org/web/20090829113407/http://geocities.com/the_hfil/Features/all_lain.html here]
 
Taken from [http://web.archive.org/web/20090829113407/http://geocities.com/the_hfil/Features/all_lain.html here]
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