32
edits
Changes
→Japanese stuff
==Japanese stuff==
First off: ''Nice.'' This draft looks a lot more interesting.
Thing is, 死ぬ時？ seems really, really incomplete. Based on my (limited and mostly based on anime/VNs) knowledge of Japanese, shouldn't it be something like 死ぬ時、どんな感じですか？ It would have to be longer, though. [[User:Amysteriousgal|Amysteriousgal]] 09:37, 6 July 2013 (UTC)
In the show, there was onscreen text that said 死ぬ時？・・・痛かった （笑） It's quoting that. I assume it's an abbreviated form of 死ぬ時はどう？ It should be left as is. --[[User:Ain|Ain]] 02:48, 16 July 2013 (UTC)
==ideas from irc==
==ideas from irc==
here's the ideas that ain had:
here's the ideas that ain had:
02.1910:54 < denkimusume> So you have the school play scene as mostly same
02.1910:54 < denkimusume> So you have the school play scene as mostly same
02.1911:35 < denkimusume> Then instead of going straight to Wired, we have a montage of Chisa just not fitting in, I guess?
02.1911:35 < denkimusume> Then instead of going straight to Wired, we have a montage of Chisa just not fitting in, I guess?
02.1911:43 < denkimusume> This includes her going to Cyberia
02.1911:43 < denkimusume> This includes her going to Cyberia
02.1911:46 < denkimusume> and stuff
02.1911:46 < denkimusume> and stuff
02.1911:54 < denkimusume> just get all that out of the way early on
02.1911:54 < denkimusume> just get all that out of the way early on
02.1912:03 < denkimusume> Then we have the first Wired scene
02.1912:03 < denkimusume> Then we have the first Wired scene
02.1912:07 < denkimusume> where she's useful
02.1912:07 < denkimusume> where she's useful
02.1912:13 < denkimusume> and we combine that with the second
02.1912:13 < denkimusume> and we combine that with the second
02.1912:23 < denkimusume> where they comfort her and stuff
02.1912:23 < denkimusume> where they comfort her and stuff
02.1913:05 < denkimusume> Next we have her walk home with lain
02.1913:05 < denkimusume> Next we have her walk home with lain
02.1913:29 < denkimusume> And we take some ideas from the last walk in the empty corridor and add that into this scene
02.1913:29 < denkimusume> And we take some ideas from the last walk in the empty corridor and add that into this scene
02.1913:37 < denkimusume> this scene should probably be the longest
02.1913:37 < denkimusume> this scene should probably be the longest
02.1914:32 < denkimusume> We have the last Wired scene where the Knights inform her that 'God is here' and tell her about the Psyche processor
02.1914:32 < denkimusume> We have the last Wired scene where the Knights inform her that 'God is here' and tell her about the Psyche processor
02.1915:00 < denkimusume> We can include a VERY brief reiteration of the last walk in the empty corridor, minus most of the lain stuff
02.1915:00 < denkimusume> We can include a VERY brief reiteration of the last walk in the empty corridor, minus most of the lain stuff
02.1915:16 < denkimusume> More morbid than anything
02.1915:16 < denkimusume> More morbid than anything
02.1915:25 < denkimusume> Then the last scene is the Psyche processor arriving
02.1915:25 < denkimusume> Then the last scene is the Psyche processor arriving
02.1915:37 < denkimusume> Literally fuck the rooftop scene we don't need it
02.1915:37 < denkimusume> Literally fuck the rooftop scene we don't need it
02.1916:31 < denkimusume> The player KNOWS what happens to her, we don't need to draw it out in its detail
02.1916:31 < denkimusume> The player KNOWS what happens to her, we don't need to draw it out in its detail
02.1917:12 < denkimusume> And to be honest the scene itself as I see it written here doesn't express anything that the previous scenes don't already establish
02.1917:12 < denkimusume> And to be honest the scene itself as I see it written here doesn't express anything that the previous scenes don't already establish
02.1918:18 < denkimusume> If we want it to be really cool the first line of the thing could be
02.1918:18 < denkimusume> If we want it to be really cool the first line of the thing could be
02.1919:36 < denkimusume> frig I can't type moon here
02.1919:36 < denkimusume> frig I can't type moon here
02.1919:43 < denkimusume> but the card
02.1919:43 < denkimusume> but the card
02.1920:08 < denkimusume> 'Ne, shinu toki?' (what was it like when you died?)
02.1920:08 < denkimusume> 'Ne, shinu toki?' (what was it like when you died?)
