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All I Ever Needed To Know In This Fragile Layer Of Existence We Call The Real World I Learned From Serial Experiments Lain (view source)
Revision as of 19:41, 29 November 2023
, 1 year agoReformatted page to improve wiki-style tone and differentiate it from the original website
'''"All I Ever Needed To Know In This Fragile Layer of Existence We Call The Real World I Learned From Serial Experiments Lain"''' is a page from the anime fansite "The Home for Infinite Losers". The website was first archived by the Internet Archive on the 3rd of November, 2001.<ref>Internet Archive, https://web.archive.org/web/20011103093843/http://www.geocities.com/the_hfil/Features/all_lain.html</ref>
The page aims to create a list of things the author feels are "definitive laws" regarding Serial Experiments Lain. The list uses a humorous tone throughout, and the author invites users to email them in order to contribute additional "laws".
The full text of the page has been included below.
=Original Website Content=
Welcome to the one and only AIENTKITFLOEWCTRWILFSEL page! The only page on the net where the title is a run-on sentence! Well, that's not really true, but it's the only page whose title is a run-on sentence that doesn't suck! Although again, that might be subject for debate. Look, just start reading before I make myself look like even more of an idiot, OK? Although I really don't think I have any sort of claim to sanity after making something like this. It is a little difficult to make a list of definitive laws about a series where, in order to maintain honesty, any statement must be ended with an "I think." As in "Lain made all their memories go away... I think," or "The game the kids were all playing actually was important... I think." Still, for better or worse, here it is.
Welcome to the one and only AIENTKITFLOEWCTRWILFSEL page! The only page on the net where the title is a run-on sentence! Well, that's not really true, but it's the only page whose title is a run-on sentence that doesn't suck! Although again, that might be subject for debate. Look, just start reading before I make myself look like even more of an idiot, OK? Although I really don't think I have any sort of claim to sanity after making something like this. It is a little difficult to make a list of definitive laws about a series where, in order to maintain honesty, any statement must be ended with an "I think." As in "Lain made all their memories go away... I think," or "The game the kids were all playing actually was important... I think." Still, for better or worse, here it is.
10) The [[MIB]] do exist, and one of them is a crazy Asian guy. The other has a Lolita Complex.
10) The [[MIB]] do exist, and one of them is a crazy Asian guy. The other has a Lolita Complex.
11) [[God]] is a [[Eiri|disgruntled computer programmer]] (probably from Microsoft).
11) [[God]] is a [[Masami Eiri|disgruntled computer programmer]] (probably from Microsoft).
12) God is also in five pieces and held together with duct-tape.
12) God is also in five pieces and held together with duct-tape.
15) Sometimes there isn't anywhere on Earth you can run to.
15) Sometimes there isn't anywhere on Earth you can run to.
16) [[The Knights]] are evil. Very evil. They look down womens skirts! And they play videogames with their children! Evil evil!
16) [[Knights of the Eastern Calculus]] are evil. Very evil. They look down women's skirts! And they play videogames with their children! Evil evil!
17) [[Taro|Kids]] [[Masayuki|in]] [[Myu-Myu|bars]] know everything about computers. And they're always at the same table. Just accept that.
17) [[Taro|Kids]] [[Masayuki|in]] [[Myu-Myu|bars]] know everything about computers. And they're always at the same table. Just accept that.
20) When outside, shadows are made up of a weird splotchy red pattern. However, normal people can't see it. Simply accept this.
20) When outside, shadows are made up of a weird splotchy red pattern. However, normal people can't see it. Simply accept this.
21) If you're going to summon the devil on the [[Wired|internet]], bring your quake cheatcodes. If you're going to summon God, bring a mop.
Other People's Suggestions (generally, they're much better than mine)
21) If you're going to summon the devil on the [[the Wired|internet]], bring your quake cheatcodes. If you're going to summon God, bring a mop.
22) The only certain thing in "life" is that [[Bear suit|teddy bear pajamas]] will never go out of style.
22) The only certain thing in "life" is that [[Bear suit|teddy bear pajamas]] will never go out of style.
31) We are all software. Even worse, we're all freeware with no warranty, no manual, and an interface that even God has a hard time using.
31) We are all software. Even worse, we're all freeware with no warranty, no manual, and an interface that even God has a hard time using.
32) If you're gonna [[Suicide|die]], make sure to send emails out about how you're not really dead.
32) If you're gonna die, make sure to send emails out about how you're not really dead.
33) If you see MIB standing outside your house, be afraid.
33) If you see MIB standing outside your house, be afraid.
38) If you get an email from a dead person, don't tell anyone about it.
38) If you get an email from a dead person, don't tell anyone about it.
39) If you need a new computer, don’t worry about it because [[Tachibana Labs|the company]] will almost immediately send you the newest model.
39) If you need a new computer, don't worry about it because [[Tachibana General Laboratories|the company]] will almost immediately send you the newest model.
40) If the telephone lines start dripping blood, be concerned.
40) If the telephone lines start dripping blood, be concerned.
44) Don't tell God that maybe he isn't really God, he'll go nuts.
44) Don't tell God that maybe he isn't really God, he'll go nuts.
45) If your [[Shoko|mom]] doesn't show up after telling her it’s her turn to play, go check on her.
45) If your [[Shoko Masatsugu|mom]] doesn't show up after telling her it's her turn to play, go check on her.
46) If you find yourself sitting in the middle of a busy street, don't worry the cars will go around you.
46) If you find yourself sitting in the middle of a busy street, don't worry the cars will go around you.
47) Avoid men in black suits, men in ducktape, kids in bear suits, and boys playing video games like the plague.
47) Avoid men in black suits, men in ducktape, kids in bear suits, and boys playing video games like the plague.
48) Don’t be judgmental; everyone is connected (So the guy who picks his nose in gym class is a part of you...EEWW!)
48) Don't be judgmental; everyone is connected (So the guy who picks his nose in gym class is a part of you...EEWW!)
49) Remember to update your software, you never know when your connection might go bad (How would you update a human being anyway?)
49) Remember to update your software, you never know when your connection might go bad (How would you update a human being anyway?)
70) For that matter, just don't trust.
70) For that matter, just don't trust.
71) No one with a friend named [[Alice]] has a Normal life.
71) No one with a friend named [[Alice Mizuki|Alice]] has a Normal life.
72) [[Love]] is never having to speak to your spouse, unless your daughter freaks out.
72) Love is never having to speak to your spouse, unless your daughter freaks out.
73) She's not your kid, or at least she wasn't until the update.
73) She's not your kid, or at least she wasn't until the update.
74) Taro is a lot like life. It has what you want, but you have to make it happy with you to get it, and it always wants you to be what you’re not...
74) Taro is a lot like life. It has what you want, but you have to make it happy with you to get it, and it always wants you to be what you're not...
75) You are what you aren't you just are. Not.
75) You are what you aren't you just are. Not.
82) Be afraid if you see the reflection of a little girl in your laser-goggle thingies. Be very afraid.
82) Be afraid if you see the reflection of a little girl in your laser-goggle thingies. Be very afraid.
83) [[Lain|Small girls]] with a single braid in their hair are all-powerful God's. Accept it.
83) [[Lain Iwakura|Small girls]] with a single braid in their hair are all-powerful God's. Accept it.
==Source==
==Sources==
Taken from [http://web.archive.org/web/20090829113407/http://geocities.com/the_hfil/Features/all_lain.html here]
Taken from [http://web.archive.org/web/20090829113407/http://geocities.com/the_hfil/Features/all_lain.html here]
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