Difference between revisions of "Come to the Wired"

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{{VNProject}}
 
{{VNProject}}
  
 +
= Second Draft (ain) =
 +
==Scene 0.==
 +
''Black screen. Words, center, type in''
  
''background: Blurry anime screencaps, possibly in black and white/sepia. There's no people in this one. It should be more effective if we don't include other people beyond some chattering in the background noise.''
+
<!-- if anybody is reading this, please fix the 2 lines bellow because they cross over the template -->
 +
'''「死ぬ時?」'''
 +
'''“What was it like when you died?”'''
  
 +
''Fade out.''
  
 +
==Scene One, Classroom, Day.==
 +
''Ambient hushed whispers. Image, sheet of paper with class play, in moonspeak. [Can be legitimate, like Love-Suicide at Amajima, or we could just stick text from scenario experiments lain in].''
  
''Classroom, chattering''
+
I don't know why, but I can't seem to do anything right.
  
'''Chisa:''' 'I'm sorry... I'm sorry...'
+
It was only a minor role in a class play. I had one line. Just one.
  
I don't know why, but I can never do anything right.
+
But I couldn't say it. My time came to say my line, but I couldn't make a sound.  
  
It was only a minor role in our class play. I only had one line. Just one.
+
Everyone was staring at me. Waiting for me. The play couldn't go on until I gave the main character his cue.
  
...But I couldn't say it. It got to my turn and... I couldn't say anything! At all!
+
I started shaking. My heart raced.
 
 
Everyone was staring at me. Everyone was waiting for me. The main character couldn't do anything until I gave him his cue.
 
 
 
I started shaking.
 
  
 
I wanted to cry.
 
I wanted to cry.
  
I was so confused.
+
Why did this have to happen to me, at such a crucial moment? I just needed to say this simple line. They needed me to—
 
 
Why was this happening?
 
 
 
I think they moved on somehow. The play continued. They all left me behind.
 
 
 
''Black, silence''
 
 
 
...And then, suddenly, I understood it.
 
 
 
They didn't need me.
 
 
 
The world didn't need me.
 
 
 
Everything became so clear as soon as I noticed.
 
 
 
'''Chisa:''' 'I...'
 
 
 
'''Chisa:''' '...don't need to be here.'
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
''Wired, electric hum?''
 
 
 
I always had another life, on the Wired.
 
 
 
There, I could connect to people. It's not like the real world, where I mess up such stupid things as one line in a play.
 
 
 
Writing is so much easier than speaking. It doesn't make me freeze in place and shiver and want to cry.
 
 
 
On the Wired, people listen to what I say. I don't have to seal my voice away, like I do in the real world, scared of saying something wrong and being hated.
 
 
 
'''Stranger:''' 'You're amazing! Thank you so much!'
 
 
 
'''Chisa:''' 'It's nothing, I'm glad I was able to help.'
 
 
 
That's why I always wanted to live on the Wired.
 
 
 
Maybe someday, I'll be able to.
 
 
 
 
 
  
''Street near Lain's home, electric hum?''
+
The next line came without me saying anything. They moved on somehow. The play continued without me.
  
There's this girl in another class called Iwakura Lain.
+
They all left me behind.
  
She's quiet, like me. I think she's lonely, too.
+
''Black''
  
Today, I walked home together with her.
+
'''At that moment, I understood.'''
  
We didn't really talk about anything, but it was nice being beside her.
+
''Montage of scenery of Chisa highlighted alone in various scenes of her being isolated, being bullied, perhaps, sitting by herself at Cyberia, walking home alone, perhaps entering an empty house, loop until ending of text in bold below.''
  
She felt familiar. Maybe it's because I saw myself in her, but it seems like something else.
+
'''It's always been like this.'''
  
Oh, I get it.
+
'''They don't need me.'''
  
Being with her feels like being on the Wired.
+
'''The world doesn't need me.'''
  
I wonder why.
+
''Fade to black, while still looping. After black, stop looping.''
  
 +
'''Chisa:''' “I’m sorry…”
  
 +
==Scene Two, Bedroom, Night.==
 +
''Image, Chibi-Navi login screen. Ambient noise from computer fans.''
 +
(「だれ?」
 +
“Who are you?”
 +
四方田千砂
 +
chisa yomoda)
  
''Classroom, chattering''
+
I have another life. On the Wired.
  
A few girls tried to make friends with me today.
+
I can talk to people there. It's easy, hiding behind a screen. I don't get nervous. I can find people who are like me, and even make friends with them.  
  
I think they were in Lain's class.
+
On the Wired, nobody knows who I am. I don't need to stay silent, afraid of saying something wrong. There are no consequences to my mistakes. Nobody hates me there.
  
They took me to this nightclub called 'Cyberia'. I'd never been there before, so I was a little scared.
+
''Image, screen, perhaps some BBS or Futaba-based imageboard.''
 +
(名無しさん No. 78
 +
Anonymous
 +
>>73
 +
すごい!乙!!
 +
You're so cool! Thanks!!
 +
名無しさん No.79
 +
Anonymous
 +
>>73
 +
神!大きにありがとう!
 +
You're amazing! Thanks so much!
 +
ヨモ田さん No.80
 +
Yomoda-san
 +
>>78
 +
>>79
 +
どういたしまして。喜んで手伝った。^_^
 +
It's nothing. I'm glad I could help. )
  
'''Alice:''' 'Don't worry. It'll be fun!'
+
I was useful there.  
  
'''Reika:''' 'Are you sure? A place like Cyberia doesn't suit her at all.'
+
''Image, screen, imageboard''
 +
(ヨモ田さん No. 32
 +
Yomoda-san
 +
誰もあたしのことわからない。クラスにいる少女たちにクラッブへ連れて来られたけど、あたし、踊れらないから取り残された。
 +
あたしの存在は惨めね。
 +
Nobody understands me. I was taken to a club by some girls in my class, but I can't dance, so they left me behind.
 +
My existence is wretched, isn't it?
 +
名無しさん No. 33
 +
Anonymous
 +
>>32
 +
ひどい!かまわない、ヨモ田さん!そう言った人々は友達じゃないよー
 +
How mean!  Don't worry about it, Yomoda-san! People like that aren't friends!
 +
名無しさん No. 34
 +
Anonymous
 +
>>32
 +
ワイヤードに来ればいいの。私たちはヨモ田さんがわかる!
 +
You should come to the Wired. We understand you, Yomoda-san!
 +
ヨモ田さん  No. 35
 +
Yomoda-san
 +
>>33
 +
>>34
 +
そう?聞いてくれて本当にありがとう。
 +
Is that so? I really appreciate you listening to me.)
  
'''Alice:''' 'It's fine, I'm sure she'll be different once we get her to open up a little.'
+
They care about me there.
  
''Cyberia, louder chattering''
+
They want me there.
  
In the end, I didn't really do anything there. There were so many people and it was all noisy and crowded... I wanted to run away.
+
I can be myself in front of them, and I don't need to worry about them hating me at all. I can speak my mind without freezing up or wanting to cry.
  
How many of those people do you think were having fun?
+
I belong there.
  
Those girls tried to be nice. They tried to make me dance along with them, but I didn't know how. I think they gave up quite quickly.
+
==Scene Three, Streets, Late Afternoon.==
 +
''Image, streets, include bloody shadows. Ambient waan waan waan 50MHz hum.''
  
Are they really friends if they want me to be someone I'm not?
+
There's a girl from another class.
  
''Wired, ?''
+
Lain Iwakura.
  
'''Stranger:''' 'You shouldn't make friends with people like them.'
+
She never talks to anyone. That means she's quiet, like me. I think she might be lonely, too.  
  
'''Stranger:''' 'You can just stay on the Wired. You can be yourself here.'
+
Like me.
  
'''Chisa:''' 'That's right. Thank you for understanding.'
+
I walked home with her today. We never said a word to each other, but I felt somehow connected to her.  
  
Yes, that's right. I don't belong here, in the real world.
+
Even though she and I never spoke, I felt comforted. It was a familiar feeling that I couldn't place at first, but then I realized—
  
I belong on the Wired.
+
For some reason, being with lain felt just like being on the Wired.
  
Just like Lain.
+
''Image, lain profile view from her left, expression rather blank and forlorn.''
  
I don't know how, but I know that Lain belongs on the Wired.
+
I feel like she belongs there too, just like me. I don't know how, but I feel like she would be happy there.
  
...Even though I've never seen her use a NAVI before.
+
I want to be her friend. But I can't talk to people in a place like this.
  
I think we would be happy in the Wired.
+
If only she was on the Wired, we could be happy together. We could connect, and we wouldn't have to hide or walk home in silence.
  
We would finally be able to connect. We wouldn't have to walk in silence together anymore.
+
...But I’ve never seen her use a NAVI before.
  
 +
I wanted to tell her, ‘Come to the Wired as soon as you can,’ but I didn't say anything.
  
 +
I don't know why, but I can't seem to do anything right.
  
''Wired, ?''
+
==Scene Four, Bedroom, Night.==
 +
''Image,  screen, closeup of some words on the screen. Ambient computer noises.''
 +
(ここに神様がいるよー)
  
I heard something interesting on the Wired today.
+
Today, I heard something interesting on the Wired.
  
Someone claiming to be in the Knights posted it.
+
'''God is here.'''
  
God is here.
+
The Knights say that God lives in the Wired. He is omnipresent, just like the Wired. He sees everything and knows everyone. He connects all of us by being connected to all of us Himself.
 
 
God lives in the Wired. He is as omnipresent as the Wired. He sees and knows everything. He connected all of us and is connected to all of us.
 
  
 
He loves all of us.
 
He loves all of us.
  
...I wonder if He can truly love someone like me, someone awkward and useless who is a burden to my family and has no friends.
+
...I wonder...
 
 
'''Knight:''' He can.
 
 
 
'''Knight:''' He will love you as long as you are on the Wired.
 
 
 
'''Chisa:''' I want to be on the Wired forever, then.
 
 
 
'''Knight:''' You can. I'll show you how.
 
 
 
He told me about the Psyche processor and how it would let me materialise in the Wired without a NAVI.
 
 
 
...He told me about abandoning the flesh.
 
 
 
'''Chisa:''' Is that really the only way? It sounds scary.
 
 
 
'''Knight:''' Don't you think it's a burden having to eat and sleep? You can be free from all that.
 
 
 
'''Chisa:''' That's true, but...
 
 
 
'''Knight:''' The real world doesn't need you, anyway.
 
 
 
''...The real world doesn't need me, anyway.''
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
''Close-up on Psyche?''
 
 
 
The Psyche processor arrived today. I found it on my desk when I got home.
 
 
 
There was a letter together with it.
 
 
 
''Whenever you are ready. We're waiting for you.''
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
''Empty corridor, silence''
 
 
 
I'm still going to school as usual, still living as usual.
 
 
 
Dying is scary, after all.
 
 
 
I saw Lain at school today. She didn't seem to notice me.
 
 
 
...I want to be her friend.
 
 
 
I want to, but I don't know how, and I don't know if she likes me. I can only make friends on the Wired.
 
 
 
I want to at least talk to her.
 
 
 
In the real world, the only person I can talk to is myself, so I close my eyes and pretend.
 
 
 
''Black, silence''
 
 
 
'''Chisa:''' Come to the Wired as soon as you can.
 
 
 
'''Chisa:''' OK?
 
 
 
'''Chisa:''' Lain?
 
  
I open my eyes again.
+
If he truly can love someone like me.
  
''Empty corridor, silence''
+
Someone who is useless and awkward and unable to talk to anyone.
  
I'm alone. I'm still alone. In this bitter world where I don't belong, I'm always alone.
+
''Image, screen, some sort of group chat client. IRC or similar chat client.''
 +
([02:04:01] バイトル:ワイヤードへ来さえすれば神様があなたを愛する。
 +
[02:04:44] ヨモダ:それじゃ、永遠にここにいたい。)
  
 +
'''Knight:''' He will love you as long as you come to the Wired.
 +
'''Chisa:''' I want to be here forever, then.
  
 +
''Image, screen, details on the Psyche processor, maybe a close up of part of ab# layer 03''
  
''Shibuya at night, city noise''
+
They told me about the Psyche processor.
  
I decided something today.
+
They said it would let me enter the Wired without needing a NAVI.
  
I decided to leave. To go to a better place.
+
...They told me about abandoning the flesh.
  
...To abandon the flesh.
+
''Image, screen, chat client again.''
 +
([04:23:43] ヨモダ:本当にただ一つ方法?怖そう・・・
 +
[04:25:01] 大正電氣娘:うん。他の方法無い。何しろ、リアル・ワルドにあなたは必要ないって言ってたね。
 +
[04:31:23] ヨモダ:そう・・・必要ない。)
  
There are lots of tall buildings in Shibuya. Lots of girls walking on the streets. I'm the only one running, because unlike these people who are merely heading for the shallow chaos of places like Cyberia, I have a wonderful place to go to.
+
''Chisa:'' Is that really the only way? It sounds scary...
 +
''Knight:'' Yeah. There's no other way. You said that the real world doesn't need you, anyway, didn't you?
 +
''Chisa:'' Right...it doesn't need me.
  
My breath is getting so heavy that it's painful. I lean against the wall, trying not to collapse. People are staring, and I silently curse my current state.
+
==Scene Five, Empty Corridor, Late afternoon.==
 +
''Silence''
  
Such a useless body. So limited. So pathetic. It's nothing more than a prison to me.
+
Even knowing what I had learned last night, I went back to school as usual.  
  
Well, that's alright.
+
I was alone, as usual.
  
I'm going home.
+
Waiting.
  
To the Wired.
+
I didn't talk to lain today, either. I just couldn't. I was too afraid.
  
I'll finally, finally be free.
+
I'm pathetic. Here I'm nobody at all.
  
 +
But there I can be somebody. I can work to my fullest potential. I can become someone worthy of God's Love.
  
 +
I belong there, in the Wired.
  
''Top of building, quieter city noise?''
+
''Black, words, centered.''
 +
(「あたしは――こんなところにいなくてもいいの――」)
  
...The street looks so far away. Maybe I'm still a little scared. Will it hurt? Will it?
+
'''Chisa:''' “I…would be better off not being in a place like this…”
  
No, I can't think about that now. I've decided.
+
==Scene Six, Front hall, evening==
 +
''Image, open package with a Psyche processor nearby. Should be something like an envelope.''
  
This night is so beautiful. I take off my glasses so that I can't see how far it is to the ground, untie my hair to let it drift in the wind. I free myself.
+
It arrived today. I found it on my desk when I got home.
  
For a moment, I even feel like I could fly.
+
There was a note.
 +
''Image, typed note.''
 +
(早くワイヤードに来てー
 +
待ってる。)
  
Softly, I whisper into the breeze - my last words that nobody will hear.
+
“Come to the Wired as soon as you can.
 +
“We’re waiting.”
  
The railing feels cold.
+
''Fade to black''
  
This might be the last time I can feel 'cold'.
+
==Scene 0.2==
 +
''Slowly fade in words from before.''
  
This might be the last time I can see the streets of Shibuya and feel the wind in my hair.
+
'''「死ぬ時?」'''
 +
'''“What was it like when you died?”'''
  
I let it all go.
+
''Below, type in slowly.''
  
 +
'''「痛かった(笑)」'''
 +
'''“It hurt. Heehee.”'''
  
  
 
[[Category:VN]]
 
[[Category:VN]]

Latest revision as of 08:14, 31 December 2022

Come to the Wired
212px-Lain's hairclip from VEL cover.jpg
Information

Second Draft (ain)

Scene 0.

Black screen. Words, center, type in

「死ぬ時?」
“What was it like when you died?”

Fade out.

Scene One, Classroom, Day.

Ambient hushed whispers. Image, sheet of paper with class play, in moonspeak. [Can be legitimate, like Love-Suicide at Amajima, or we could just stick text from scenario experiments lain in].

I don't know why, but I can't seem to do anything right.

It was only a minor role in a class play. I had one line. Just one.

But I couldn't say it. My time came to say my line, but I couldn't make a sound.

Everyone was staring at me. Waiting for me. The play couldn't go on until I gave the main character his cue.

I started shaking. My heart raced.

I wanted to cry.

Why did this have to happen to me, at such a crucial moment? I just needed to say this simple line. They needed me to—

The next line came without me saying anything. They moved on somehow. The play continued without me.

They all left me behind.

Black

At that moment, I understood.

Montage of scenery of Chisa highlighted alone in various scenes of her being isolated, being bullied, perhaps, sitting by herself at Cyberia, walking home alone, perhaps entering an empty house, loop until ending of text in bold below.

It's always been like this.

They don't need me.

The world doesn't need me.

Fade to black, while still looping. After black, stop looping.

Chisa: “I’m sorry…”

Scene Two, Bedroom, Night.

Image, Chibi-Navi login screen. Ambient noise from computer fans.
(「だれ?」
“Who are you?”
四方田千砂
chisa yomoda)

I have another life. On the Wired.

I can talk to people there. It's easy, hiding behind a screen. I don't get nervous. I can find people who are like me, and even make friends with them.

On the Wired, nobody knows who I am. I don't need to stay silent, afraid of saying something wrong. There are no consequences to my mistakes. Nobody hates me there.

Image, screen, perhaps some BBS or Futaba-based imageboard.

(名無しさん No. 78
Anonymous
>>73
すごい!乙!!
You're so cool! Thanks!!
名無しさん No.79
Anonymous
>>73
神!大きにありがとう!
You're amazing! Thanks so much!
ヨモ田さん No.80
Yomoda-san
>>78
>>79
どういたしまして。喜んで手伝った。^_^
It's nothing.  I'm glad I could help. )

I was useful there.

Image, screen, imageboard

(ヨモ田さん No. 32
Yomoda-san
誰もあたしのことわからない。クラスにいる少女たちにクラッブへ連れて来られたけど、あたし、踊れらないから取り残された。
あたしの存在は惨めね。
Nobody understands me. I was taken to a club by some girls in my class, but I can't dance, so they left me behind.
My existence is wretched, isn't it?
名無しさん No. 33
Anonymous
>>32
ひどい!かまわない、ヨモ田さん!そう言った人々は友達じゃないよー
How mean!  Don't worry about it, Yomoda-san! People like that aren't friends!
名無しさん No. 34
Anonymous
>>32
ワイヤードに来ればいいの。私たちはヨモ田さんがわかる!
You should come to the Wired. We understand you, Yomoda-san!
ヨモ田さん  No. 35
Yomoda-san
>>33
>>34
そう?聞いてくれて本当にありがとう。
Is that so? I really appreciate you listening to me.)

They care about me there.

They want me there.

I can be myself in front of them, and I don't need to worry about them hating me at all. I can speak my mind without freezing up or wanting to cry.

I belong there.

Scene Three, Streets, Late Afternoon.

Image, streets, include bloody shadows. Ambient waan waan waan 50MHz hum.

There's a girl from another class.

Lain Iwakura.

She never talks to anyone. That means she's quiet, like me. I think she might be lonely, too.

Like me.

I walked home with her today. We never said a word to each other, but I felt somehow connected to her.

Even though she and I never spoke, I felt comforted. It was a familiar feeling that I couldn't place at first, but then I realized—

For some reason, being with lain felt just like being on the Wired.

Image, lain profile view from her left, expression rather blank and forlorn.

I feel like she belongs there too, just like me. I don't know how, but I feel like she would be happy there.

I want to be her friend. But I can't talk to people in a place like this.

If only she was on the Wired, we could be happy together. We could connect, and we wouldn't have to hide or walk home in silence.

...But I’ve never seen her use a NAVI before.

I wanted to tell her, ‘Come to the Wired as soon as you can,’ but I didn't say anything.

I don't know why, but I can't seem to do anything right.

Scene Four, Bedroom, Night.

Image, screen, closeup of some words on the screen. Ambient computer noises.

(ここに神様がいるよー)

Today, I heard something interesting on the Wired.

God is here.

The Knights say that God lives in the Wired. He is omnipresent, just like the Wired. He sees everything and knows everyone. He connects all of us by being connected to all of us Himself.

He loves all of us.

...I wonder...

If he truly can love someone like me.

Someone who is useless and awkward and unable to talk to anyone.

Image, screen, some sort of group chat client. IRC or similar chat client.

([02:04:01] バイトル:ワイヤードへ来さえすれば神様があなたを愛する。
[02:04:44] ヨモダ:それじゃ、永遠にここにいたい。)
Knight: He will love you as long as you come to the Wired.
Chisa: I want to be here forever, then.

Image, screen, details on the Psyche processor, maybe a close up of part of ab# layer 03

They told me about the Psyche processor.

They said it would let me enter the Wired without needing a NAVI.

...They told me about abandoning the flesh.

Image, screen, chat client again.

([04:23:43] ヨモダ:本当にただ一つ方法?怖そう・・・
[04:25:01] 大正電氣娘:うん。他の方法無い。何しろ、リアル・ワルドにあなたは必要ないって言ってたね。
[04:31:23] ヨモダ:そう・・・必要ない。)
Chisa: Is that really the only way? It sounds scary...
Knight: Yeah. There's no other way. You said that the real world doesn't need you, anyway, didn't you?
Chisa: Right...it doesn't need me.

Scene Five, Empty Corridor, Late afternoon.

Silence

Even knowing what I had learned last night, I went back to school as usual.

I was alone, as usual.

Waiting.

I didn't talk to lain today, either. I just couldn't. I was too afraid.

I'm pathetic. Here I'm nobody at all.

But there I can be somebody. I can work to my fullest potential. I can become someone worthy of God's Love.

I belong there, in the Wired.

Black, words, centered. (「あたしは――こんなところにいなくてもいいの――」)

Chisa: “I…would be better off not being in a place like this…”

Scene Six, Front hall, evening

Image, open package with a Psyche processor nearby. Should be something like an envelope.

It arrived today. I found it on my desk when I got home.

There was a note. Image, typed note.

(早くワイヤードに来てー
待ってる。)
“Come to the Wired as soon as you can.”
“We’re waiting.”

Fade to black

Scene 0.2

Slowly fade in words from before.

「死ぬ時?」
“What was it like when you died?”

Below, type in slowly.

「痛かった(笑)」
“It hurt. Heehee.”