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| − | == First Draft (amysteriousgal) ==
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| − | ''background: Blurry anime screencaps, possibly in black and white/sepia. There's no people in this one. It should be more effective if we don't include other people beyond some chattering in the background noise.''
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| − | ''Classroom, chattering''
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| − | '''Chisa:''' 'I'm sorry... I'm sorry...'
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| − | I don't know why, but I can never do anything right.
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| − | It was only a minor role in our class play. I only had one line. Just one.
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| − | ...But I couldn't say it. It got to my turn and... I couldn't say anything! At all!
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| − | Everyone was staring at me. Everyone was waiting for me. The main character couldn't do anything until I gave him his cue.
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| − | I started shaking.
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| − | I wanted to cry.
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| − | I was so confused.
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| − | Why was this happening?
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| − | I think they moved on somehow. The play continued. They all left me behind.
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| − | ''Black, silence''
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| − | ...And then, suddenly, I understood it.
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| − | They didn't need me.
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| − | The world didn't need me.
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| − | Everything became so clear as soon as I noticed.
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| − | '''Chisa:''' 'I...'
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| − | '''Chisa:''' '...don't need to be here.'
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| − | ''not fitting in scenes''
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| − | ''Wired, electric hum?''
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| − | I always had another life, on the Wired.
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| − | There, I could connect to people. It's not like the real world, where I mess up such stupid things as one line in a play.
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| − | Writing is so much easier than speaking. It doesn't make me freeze in place and shiver and want to cry.
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| − | On the Wired, people listen to what I say. I don't have to seal my voice away, like I do in the real world, scared of saying something wrong and being hated.
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| − | '''Stranger:''' 'You're amazing! Thank you so much!'
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| − | '''Chisa:''' 'It's nothing, I'm glad I was able to help.'
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| − | That's why I always wanted to live on the Wired.
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| − | Maybe someday, I'll be able to.
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| − | ''Street near Lain's home, electric hum?''
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| − | There's this girl in another class called Iwakura Lain.
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| − | She's quiet, like me. I think she's lonely, too.
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| − | Today, I walked home together with her.
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| − | We didn't really talk about anything, but it was nice being beside her.
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| − | She felt familiar. Maybe it's because I saw myself in her, but it seems like something else.
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| − | Oh, I get it.
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| − | Being with her feels like being on the Wired.
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| − | I wonder why.
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| − | ''Classroom, chattering''
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| − | A few girls tried to make friends with me today.
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| − | I think they were in Lain's class.
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| − | They took me to this nightclub called 'Cyberia'. I'd never been there before, so I was a little scared.
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| − | '''Alice:''' 'Don't worry. It'll be fun!'
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| − | '''Reika:''' 'Are you sure? A place like Cyberia doesn't suit her at all.'
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| − | '''Alice:''' 'It's fine, I'm sure she'll be different once we get her to open up a little.'
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| − | ''Cyberia, louder chattering''
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| − | In the end, I didn't really do anything there. There were so many people and it was all noisy and crowded... I wanted to run away.
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| − | How many of those people do you think were having fun?
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| − | Those girls tried to be nice. They tried to make me dance along with them, but I didn't know how. I think they gave up quite quickly.
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| − | Are they really friends if they want me to be someone I'm not?
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| − | ''Wired, ?''
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| − | '''Stranger:''' 'You shouldn't make friends with people like them.'
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| − | '''Stranger:''' 'You can just stay on the Wired. You can be yourself here.'
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| − | '''Chisa:''' 'That's right. Thank you for understanding.'
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| − | Yes, that's right. I don't belong here, in the real world.
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| − | I belong on the Wired.
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| − | Just like Lain.
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| − | I don't know how, but I know that Lain belongs on the Wired.
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| − | ...Even though I've never seen her use a NAVI before.
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| − | I think we would be happy in the Wired.
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| − | We would finally be able to connect. We wouldn't have to walk in silence together anymore.
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| − | ''Wired, ?''
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| − | I heard something interesting on the Wired today.
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| − | Someone claiming to be in the Knights posted it.
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| − | God is here.
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| − | God lives in the Wired. He is as omnipresent as the Wired. He sees and knows everything. He connected all of us and is connected to all of us.
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| − | He loves all of us.
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| − | ...I wonder if He can truly love someone like me, someone awkward and useless who is a burden to my family and has no friends.
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| − | '''Knight:''' He can.
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| − | '''Knight:''' He will love you as long as you are on the Wired.
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| − | '''Chisa:''' I want to be on the Wired forever, then.
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| − | '''Knight:''' You can. I'll show you how.
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| − | He told me about the Psyche processor and how it would let me materialise in the Wired without a NAVI.
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| − | ...He told me about abandoning the flesh.
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| − | '''Chisa:''' Is that really the only way? It sounds scary.
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| − | '''Knight:''' Don't you think it's a burden having to eat and sleep? You can be free from all that.
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| − | '''Chisa:''' That's true, but...
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| − | '''Knight:''' The real world doesn't need you, anyway.
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| − | ''...The real world doesn't need me, anyway.''
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| − | ''Close-up on Psyche?''
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| − | The Psyche processor arrived today. I found it on my desk when I got home.
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| − | There was a letter together with it.
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| − | ''Whenever you are ready. We're waiting for you.''
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| − | ''Empty corridor, silence''
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| − | I'm still going to school as usual, still living as usual.
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| − | Dying is scary, after all.
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| − | I saw Lain at school today. She didn't seem to notice me.
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| − | ...I want to be her friend.
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| − | I want to, but I don't know how, and I don't know if she likes me. I can only make friends on the Wired.
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| − | I want to at least talk to her.
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| − | In the real world, the only person I can talk to is myself, so I close my eyes and pretend.
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| − | ''Black, silence''
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| − | '''Chisa:''' Come to the Wired as soon as you can.
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| − | '''Chisa:''' OK?
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| − | '''Chisa:''' Lain?
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| − | I open my eyes again.
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| − | ''Empty corridor, silence''
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| − | I'm alone. I'm still alone. In this bitter world where I don't belong, I'm always alone.
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| − | ''Shibuya at night, city noise''
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| − | I decided something today.
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| − | I decided to leave. To go to a better place.
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| − | ...To abandon the flesh.
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| − | There are lots of tall buildings in Shibuya. Lots of girls walking on the streets. I'm the only one running, because unlike these people who are merely heading for the shallow chaos of places like Cyberia, I have a wonderful place to go to.
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| − | My breath is getting so heavy that it's painful. I lean against the wall, trying not to collapse. People are staring, and I silently curse my current state.
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| − | Such a useless body. So limited. So pathetic. It's nothing more than a prison to me.
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| − | Well, that's alright.
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| − | I'm going home.
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| − | To the Wired.
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| − | I'll finally, finally be free.
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| − | ''Top of building, quieter city noise?''
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| − | ...The street looks so far away. Maybe I'm still a little scared. Will it hurt? Will it?
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| − | No, I can't think about that now. I've decided.
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| − | This night is so beautiful. I take off my glasses so that I can't see how far it is to the ground, untie my hair to let it drift in the wind. I free myself.
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| − | For a moment, I even feel like I could fly.
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| − | Softly, I whisper into the breeze - my last words that nobody will hear.
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| − | The railing feels cold.
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| − | This might be the last time I can feel 'cold'.
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| − | This might be the last time I can see the streets of Shibuya and feel the wind in my hair.
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| − | I let it all go.
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| | == Second Draft (ain) == | | == Second Draft (ain) == |
